Oldest Son Zach

Oldest Son Zach

After learning of the tragedy that unfolded over my PC yesterday afternoon The Sandy Hook Elementary School Tragedy left me in a

state of tears as I sat quietly reading about what had transpired there. I immediately started praying for the families and Children. I couldn’t help but wonder if this is really the wake up call to enlist the action of our elected officials to really put their differences and politics aside to just do what is right for everyone. President Obama was clearly shaken up.

Piers Morgan was busy pointing fingers at the Autism Community with his speculations from a psychiatrist he had on a live show.  Adam Lanza did have mental illness, He did use his mother’s weapons to kill her and the others.  He also attempted to purchase a weapon just a few days before his rampage and had a altercation at the school around the same time.  Adam Lanza had no previous criminal record. His parents divorced in 2008, He last saw his dad this past June 2012 as reported. President Obama named all the Tragic Killings in the past year. What do they all have in Common? They were all very young men who were deeply troubled. Why?

I won’t be pointing fingers, as we all know blame gets you nowhere, but I can certainly point out obvious emotional triggers that effects boys since I’am raising my two sons on my own and provide awareness of what I have learned throughout my life raising them. Are we really ready to deal with the reality of what needs to be done to preserve our own family dynamics when it comes to our children? I’m sure I’am not the only parent who has been very aware and proactive in what my kids do on a daily basis. Whether they be on or off the school campus, their friends, their sports involvements and social life which has transgressed into a social media lifestyle.

I really don’t feel comfortable with social media lifestyles for school age kids, especially kids with internet service on their cell phones and logged into Facebook and other mobile apps. I firmly believe that these forms of social engagement  enhance the  peer pressure, bullying, emotional health in what is just one of the many things wrong with the social lifestyles and upbringing of children. With Divorce rates over 50 percent, Some Parents who were once closely bonded with their children especially for boys what I have always noticed about  my oldest when he was two his dad moved out of the home. As heart breaking as it was his dad remained involved from a distance but never fully recovered and rebuilt his life.

Our family who was self-employed homeowners with two young children ages seven and two. Six months later he moved to Orange County.  The children barely saw him and the emotional toll started setting in with my daughter, who became so depressed she couldn’t focus at home to do her homework that usually never took longer than 45 minutes. If I had known the symptoms were different for men than women when it came to depression, I was shocked last week when I posted this article on twitter over to Dr. Dale Archer. Almost every symptom they described was my children’s father over 14 years ago. It was like looking at his picture in a framed piece of Art hanging on our wall that is how surreal it had become for me.

I had always thought that boys need that male bonding with their fathers.  It becomes a very emotional time for them when they are going through puberty to becoming the Man in the family if they are the oldest male living in your divorced household. I warmly embraced my son who has really come so far from where he was. He deserves everything he wants in his life. I watched this super hyperactive child develop that never gave me a break through toddler-hood and spent so many hours in the ER at the hospital. I could never take my eyes off him for very long he would be going 10 different directions. We not only survived, we became stronger as a family unit could possibly be with numerous hours of intervention and therapy for both my sons.

It wasn’t until later when I was watching a news clip about boys who are loners, suffer from social anxiety, react to the peer pressure and unable to figure out how to adapt and change themselves for the better. What happened in Sand Hook Elementary was clearly a reminder of what was wrong in our children’s social upbringing. I knew from the time that my oldest son turned 4 that he was influenced by violence over the television. He disappeared on me on his bike of all things, he was wanting to go to the park and left on his own and turned the wrong way and ended up over 4 miles from home hitting the crosswalks all that distance.

He even attempted to out-run two Cop Cars just as he had seen over the Show “Cops” the previous night. He decided to play the bad guy and run. I was very fortunate that God had blessed my son and returned him back to me in one solid piece. He had disappeared one other time after that but I had Angels looking after him all the time, they were the Kindest Strangers I had ever met. He even gave one lady our home phone number to call me to come get him on that second occasion.

I was totally engaged reading how the soul and depression affect men worse in situations when it comes to changing your family dynamic. I honestly believe that Dr. Dale Archer is on the right track but it needs to be extended to preserve  Fathers to maintain that active positive role in their children’s lives when there is divorce involved. A program should be implemented to give them more emotional support. I was really shocked to learn that Adam had been taught how to use weapons with his condition.

I don’t feel comfortable with guns in my home with my kids living in the home with me.  I don’t own any personally. Children have way too much social stress in this century. In the 60’s kids teased to be mean, I experienced that first hand. I outsmarted their thinking and listened to my mother. I knew that she would not tell me wrong information I trusted her completely just as any child would do who have a close bond with their parents.

Mental Illness is not going away anytime soon. 2013 will certainly be a huge year of change for the USA. My prayers lie with all the family members of the deceased. and God Bless Everyone , Peace on Earth.

references:

http://health.doctissimo.com/mental-health/male-depression/recognizing-male-depression.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/reading-between-the-headlines/201212/another-mass-murder

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