Category: Autism Stories from the spectrum


Dr. Sabrina U. Carter M.D. Santa Barbara, Ca.  the boys  pediatric Neurologist.

# 2 sons Born 7 years 9 months apart Zachary my oldest son born a healthy happy Boy with alot of intestinal gas as a infant, wether this was from the Hep B shot, as a parent  I treated him with the mylecon drops, it corrected it, his peditrician visits were kept up to date with vaccines, noticed his inability to focus very early, my pregnancy developed in PreEclampsia, I had been working 12 hour days at the hospital, stopped working 2 weeks before my due date to rest up, until my weekly visit on the 20th March, 1996, had way too much protein in my urine dr ordered me to the hospital to induce me for deliverly 10 days early.

 Zachary was born the next morning, an vaginal birth, 8 hr labor the physicians had me hooked up to a sodium drip IV to prevent me from having seizures, I felt very larthagic, didnt like that feeling, just felt my body was not being able to flush out toxins! They kept me on that IV till I went home 2 days later. Zachary’s was very hyper active fm infant up into toddler we had numerous trips to the ER, this boy was a train With no breaks, he loved and was fascinated with trains growing up. Train videos all the time he could tell parents at a very early age about the different train engines, his developement was delayed, it was very clear to see! He passed all of his speech therapy

Once he started in school, assessments IEP’s  only thing he qualified for was speech therapy, his success in the classroom was very difficult we had just moved to Lompoc in the fall of 2001, to be closer to my parents for support, my step Mother was a retired clincal physcologist fm Nevada.

 In 2008 both my sons had been accessed by:Thomas Wylie PHD, Zach has been diagnosed with a processing disorder/severe adhd yet because of the beauracy within the medical industry, Zach’s pediatrician prescribed ritilan/later switched to Concerta, it calmed him down but then it kept him awake till 3 am, medical side effects were being published online, zach used to stare off/daydream, not focus in the classroom, repeated the 3rd grade, each grade he was moved up too he continued to have failed grades up until after 5th grade I pulled him out of the school and enrolled both of the boys into Manzanita Charter school had a way more intergrative school teaching with a way better 20 to 1 ratio per teacher. 

This is when Loren’s Medical history begins, I carried him to term at age 43, I changed my diet, exercised more, hiked alot of beaches in 2002. My labor and delivery was induced, had a healthy deliverly 3 hrs fm start to finish. He spent alot of time with eye contact with me, I just knew there was something off with his ability to communicate, his milestones as a infant were delayed but I did the best I could to teach/show him he was a very visual learner like me.

 When I went back to college that year, I placed him in well structured daycare that taught infants sign language, they had a very well structured daily schedule which I loved. Loren’s delayed developement started to show more as he grew. He had all of his vaccines up to date, enrolled him into the head-start program at age 3.5 because of his delays he was assessed for speech and started therapy, the only other service he qualified for was for his sensory processing, which for the most part was corrected. He graduated preschool in the summer of 2oo8. 

 So after both boys were enrolled into the charter school I started the process of getting both of them assessed again, the school district refused to assess loren before he started kindergarten. Dr Wylie was suppose to give me copies of the boys assessments earlier that year and l didnt obtain them until jan/feb 2009 Loren’s assessment came with a diagnosis of Autism, 2 months later Zach’s assessment was jaw dropping, overwhelming, infuriating (mentally retarded, processing disorder) for what the district denied him in all those years in elementary school! His resillence that year was so asstounding, he became a speed reader, C average in all if his courses the 2nd time ever he had confidence at school. 

The 1st time was in 4th grade when he decided to participate in the classroom turned 2 F’s into A’s in one reporting period 6 months after losing his grandfather in plane crash in 2006. My  Dad was the only father figure they could depend on in those years. 

So this is when I take both my son’s to Dr. Sabrina U. Carter I learned so much fm her she was so instramental in helping me manage their IEPS, she did eegs on both boys to discover that they both had petite mal seisures aka absent epilepsy, they were both placed on depakote for treatment I researched and read that they can recover and heal from this they have to be seizure free for 1 year before they can be weaned off the medication. If the seizure disorder is caught past puberty age 13 the disorder can be permanent. 

When I told her that Zach had been on ritilan and concerta for his adhd in 2003 to 2006, and his inabililty to sleep at night, she told me that those medications intensify seisures. Loren started progessing in school and loved his classroom he remained there until the 3rd grade. They wanted him enrolled in summer school so we tried it to have him running out of the classroom crying he has a hard time adjusting to changes with teachers, he couldnt cope. 

Zach at age 17, in his dr apt, an rn hands me this vsi on the meningitis vaccine and hpv i tell her that I saw the package inserts he doesnt need these vaccines, zach came home from outdoor school at age 12 and was admitted to the hospital 3 days later for viral meningitis he had never ever been hospitalized before for anything there was another case of thr viral meningitis that the patient died after zach. We prayed for that family for we were blessed to catch Zach’s in time. She turns to Zach and asks him if he would like the vaccines, he did it to defy my rights to consent for what was right for him he took the vaccines. I showed him the inserts last year he regrets making that decision now!

Loren has had all his vaccinations except the 7th grade tdap, and we opted out of the meningitis/hpv vaccines for high school! He is done im very fortunate that his pediatrician at that time told me the truth about the efficacy of the vaccine and agreed why vaccinate, what is sad is that she left the practice because of the pressure alot of the functional health physicians are gone.

 TO THIS DAY OUR PHYSICIANS are still asking us about vaccines for every dr apt, I tell them no sorry I have encephalmalacia, wild immunity fm the measles and chicken pox when you quote the science and they know its true they are very quite. Im going to tell them next time to make notes of my wild immunity not simply state that I have refused vaccinations. List the reason in there.

Oldest Son Zach

Oldest Son Zach

After learning of the tragedy that unfolded over my PC yesterday afternoon The Sandy Hook Elementary School Tragedy left me in a

state of tears as I sat quietly reading about what had transpired there. I immediately started praying for the families and Children. I couldn’t help but wonder if this is really the wake up call to enlist the action of our elected officials to really put their differences and politics aside to just do what is right for everyone. President Obama was clearly shaken up.

Piers Morgan was busy pointing fingers at the Autism Community with his speculations from a psychiatrist he had on a live show.  Adam Lanza did have mental illness, He did use his mother’s weapons to kill her and the others.  He also attempted to purchase a weapon just a few days before his rampage and had a altercation at the school around the same time.  Adam Lanza had no previous criminal record. His parents divorced in 2008, He last saw his dad this past June 2012 as reported. President Obama named all the Tragic Killings in the past year. What do they all have in Common? They were all very young men who were deeply troubled. Why?

I won’t be pointing fingers, as we all know blame gets you nowhere, but I can certainly point out obvious emotional triggers that effects boys since I’am raising my two sons on my own and provide awareness of what I have learned throughout my life raising them. Are we really ready to deal with the reality of what needs to be done to preserve our own family dynamics when it comes to our children? I’m sure I’am not the only parent who has been very aware and proactive in what my kids do on a daily basis. Whether they be on or off the school campus, their friends, their sports involvements and social life which has transgressed into a social media lifestyle.

I really don’t feel comfortable with social media lifestyles for school age kids, especially kids with internet service on their cell phones and logged into Facebook and other mobile apps. I firmly believe that these forms of social engagement  enhance the  peer pressure, bullying, emotional health in what is just one of the many things wrong with the social lifestyles and upbringing of children. With Divorce rates over 50 percent, Some Parents who were once closely bonded with their children especially for boys what I have always noticed about  my oldest when he was two his dad moved out of the home. As heart breaking as it was his dad remained involved from a distance but never fully recovered and rebuilt his life.

Our family who was self-employed homeowners with two young children ages seven and two. Six months later he moved to Orange County.  The children barely saw him and the emotional toll started setting in with my daughter, who became so depressed she couldn’t focus at home to do her homework that usually never took longer than 45 minutes. If I had known the symptoms were different for men than women when it came to depression, I was shocked last week when I posted this article on twitter over to Dr. Dale Archer. Almost every symptom they described was my children’s father over 14 years ago. It was like looking at his picture in a framed piece of Art hanging on our wall that is how surreal it had become for me.

I had always thought that boys need that male bonding with their fathers.  It becomes a very emotional time for them when they are going through puberty to becoming the Man in the family if they are the oldest male living in your divorced household. I warmly embraced my son who has really come so far from where he was. He deserves everything he wants in his life. I watched this super hyperactive child develop that never gave me a break through toddler-hood and spent so many hours in the ER at the hospital. I could never take my eyes off him for very long he would be going 10 different directions. We not only survived, we became stronger as a family unit could possibly be with numerous hours of intervention and therapy for both my sons.

It wasn’t until later when I was watching a news clip about boys who are loners, suffer from social anxiety, react to the peer pressure and unable to figure out how to adapt and change themselves for the better. What happened in Sand Hook Elementary was clearly a reminder of what was wrong in our children’s social upbringing. I knew from the time that my oldest son turned 4 that he was influenced by violence over the television. He disappeared on me on his bike of all things, he was wanting to go to the park and left on his own and turned the wrong way and ended up over 4 miles from home hitting the crosswalks all that distance.

He even attempted to out-run two Cop Cars just as he had seen over the Show “Cops” the previous night. He decided to play the bad guy and run. I was very fortunate that God had blessed my son and returned him back to me in one solid piece. He had disappeared one other time after that but I had Angels looking after him all the time, they were the Kindest Strangers I had ever met. He even gave one lady our home phone number to call me to come get him on that second occasion.

I was totally engaged reading how the soul and depression affect men worse in situations when it comes to changing your family dynamic. I honestly believe that Dr. Dale Archer is on the right track but it needs to be extended to preserve  Fathers to maintain that active positive role in their children’s lives when there is divorce involved. A program should be implemented to give them more emotional support. I was really shocked to learn that Adam had been taught how to use weapons with his condition.

I don’t feel comfortable with guns in my home with my kids living in the home with me.  I don’t own any personally. Children have way too much social stress in this century. In the 60’s kids teased to be mean, I experienced that first hand. I outsmarted their thinking and listened to my mother. I knew that she would not tell me wrong information I trusted her completely just as any child would do who have a close bond with their parents.

Mental Illness is not going away anytime soon. 2013 will certainly be a huge year of change for the USA. My prayers lie with all the family members of the deceased. and God Bless Everyone , Peace on Earth.

references:

http://health.doctissimo.com/mental-health/male-depression/recognizing-male-depression.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/reading-between-the-headlines/201212/another-mass-murder

 

I can’t believe how time has flown by since my last blog, The past year has been a roller coaster so far. Anything can happen, Whether it be countless things with negative energy attached to it. I have learned  to focus on positive reinforcements to rid the negative  impact of those situations. For everyone that knows me personally knows that after the loss of  SSI Benefits of my two sons last year has really impacted  and continues to challenge my discipline and decisions on a daily basis.

I have been praying for Cassie my daughter since I found out in early May a week before her 21st Birthday where she had moved too.  She left here with her heart broken over the fact that her mom was no longer financially capable of supporting her. She had known for quite a while the stress I had been under to keep food on the table for everyone.  The cost of Gasoline alone ate up what little I had left over after my basic living expenses were paid.

In December of Last year I started immersing myself back with Primerica Financial Services.  I had taken a few years break from doing the business, to focus on the in home intervention on both the boys. Now that most of the Intervention finished last summer It freed my time up when the boys started back to school last year. I had really missed my involvement with my Primerica Family. They have been the constant positive reinforcement to change my life. It is definitely permanently a solid staple in my life.

I’m going to succeed in this I know how good I can be. Facing my worst fears is the answer to my own success and believe it or not I’m doing just that. When I celebrated my birthday lunch with my dad back in 2006, just 10 to 12 days before his death, We had a long talk about Primerica. He finally understood what this Company really meant to me. I feel dad and God with me everyday. I don’t know why but I do. Other family members have dreams with him. I haven’t. It is his guidance to be the best I can possibly be for myself and my family no matter what I choose to do.

I started back to attending Mass at Queen of Angels Church here, even though I haven’t enrolled in the parish yet, I finally figured out that I need more of God’s guidance to get me where I want to be. Loren really enjoys the Masses, he has picked up a lot just from the prayers and singing for his reading in school. I’m going too enroll him into the CCD and get him baptized As soon as I can figure out who to ask to be his God Parents.

I have not been an active participant in the church since the age of 16. I never lost complete faith in everything I learned at school and at Church. I just happened to get lost for few decades attempting to cope with the closeness I once shared with my family, siblings, parents divorce, and my own divorce.  Now that my kids are older I can put forth the work for more self-reflection, meditation, and rebuild my relationship with God and Church. I know that this program will be very good for Loren.  Attempting to get Zach to church with me may take a miracle.

I have also been attending the http://www.healingroomssmv.com What a blessing this has been in my life. I immediately felt a heavy burden lifted off my spirit after two  blessings. I no longer cry when I talk about my past journey. All my negative emotional attachments to my marriage are gone. I now know that the holy spirit is with me, I read the New Testament I need to reinforce to read a paragraph or two each night like I’m suppose too as I was instructed, and I have been praying more at home.

Wow Summer is  almost gone, Autumn is slowly working its way into California, The boys are back in School, Zachary is very happy, a Freshman, and Loren adjusting  to 3rd grade with flying colors, home is totally different story. When Summer started, Kids were out of School We were having fun in the sun, doing our usual local summer activities with the exception of No Youth Football this season. I placed a hold on that for Loren this year to allow him more time for personal growth and maturity.

I had so much anticipation of having a fun summer at the beach this year with the boys. I was going to take them to Refugio Beach this year, and possibly do a week of camping there until the 1st of July come around and got thrown a Curve Ball fast and hard from Social Security over the boys SSI benefits i received for them. We lost over half our income based on my inheritance from my dad when he passed on from his plane crash in 2008.

Because my family owns a small private Corporation that owns property in a commercial wind farm and is leased out for 75 years to the Corporation, meaning no one earns any income from the property, It is zoned commercial, has a appraisal value of 66k . I own this small corporation along with my brother and sister. It was my dad’s retirement dream to supplement his and moms retirement which it definitely did that for dad until his death. Social Security considers this a monetary resource that can be sold. When in fact it can’t be sold. We have Contractual obligations to fill. Social Security says it wouldn’t be a problem if i was residing on the property, then i could retain the benefits.

That’s how they protect all the families in Corporate America, who own millions already in property assets but because those assets are protected in a special needs trust, the government can’t go after them and they retain their benefits. I know this for a fact from talking to friend who manages millions if not billions for his clients that are family members of proctor and gamble and other such notable Corporate America families. Wall Street white-collar crime at its best.

I have been battling this issue with Social Security since January of 2010. I don’t manage any of my dad’s trust, or nor am I involved with the Treasury position in our family corporation. I responded by retaining an attorney to protect my interest. Social Security asked me to sell the property and interest into the family corporation when it is the only thing i have fall back on for myself when i reach retirement. Why would any smart person with financial sense sell it off because the government wanted the money for repayment of benefits they say total over 50k for both my sons. They Scrutinize, stigmatize people for accepting benefits through Social Security.

As it stands now, my sons are at further risk, because i have not been able to fully financially get caught up after the benefits stopped with no warning. Social Security said they sent a letter on the 14th of June. Letter never arrived after several phone calls and informing them of this problem they never sent me a copy I had to drive into Santa Maria and request they give me one.  They wouldn’t accept my receipts from my living expenses, showing that this family is truly at risk further from their actions.

Getting mad, and frustrated doesn’t get you anywhere to solve this matter, just a lot of perseverance, patience, parenting skills, and getting really creative when your kids are always asking to go somewhere and you can’t with gas approaching almost 4 dollars a gallon and you pay your rent and utilities I’m lucky if there is 100 dollars left to cover the cost of gas to last me a month. I’m down to raising my boys with under 990 dollars of child support a month. I got diagnosed with mild to moderate arthritis in both my knees and working hard at the gym to get a grip and loose this excess weight to get my mobility back to where it was. providing that i can retain the payments to the gym and for supplements for the inflammation in my knees.

I’m in the process of researching and seeking employment through Non Profit agencies to help supplement my income and retain financial independence again. I’m been seriously thinking of starting my own non profit organization, Lobbying for Change, and considering going back to school to learn that aspect of the industry. I just know I’m predestined to do something great in my life and I can’t  let this part of it get me down. This blog is to bring Transparency where ever i see it, regardless of where i find it. Awareness is needed to support the Americans who have lost their benefits as well to similar circumstances, since the financial crisis hit.

I read the headlines almost everyday, there is scores of  families just like mine who are unable to provide for their children, especially those who have children at risk and with #Autism, special needs. Shouldn’t Charity begin at home? If you cant take care of your own country how are you able to financially able to take care of so many other countries without any hesitation?

Closing Note: What is really odd about Social Security, is that they tell you are breaking the law, but they can’t show you  any law or tell you what federal penal codes  that you are violating. They just follow policies and procedures.

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