Category: Uncategorized

Loretta Ollie Thomson Born 9/10/1932 death 5/3/2014

Loretta Ollie Thomson Born 9/10/1932
death 5/3/2014

It is hard to imagine where I was this time last year, Mom was halfway through her chemo treatments, She had a fire in her home in december 2013,  and had been staying at the Raddison Hotel at Santa Maria Airport with my sister and my nephew who mainly looked after her when I wasnt working or looking after my own family. It was my role to escort her to the numerous doctor apts, and retrieve her medications from the pharmacy if she needed something. She was so full of enthusiasm, and optimistic about finishing these 6 treatments that her Oncologist insisted she take all of them. I got really concerned about her body not being able to withstand all the treatments and I had asked him, at her 3rd visit what if her body cant withstand all the treatments, he just said that all the treatments had to be given.  I just thought that the Standard of Care he was practicing was just doing what he was taught to do follow the protocol that he had been practicing or decades.

I didn’t learn till like a month later that Sansum Clinic is not practicing Functional Health Care, but the old standard of care and it was very apparent when I had gone with Mom to see her endocrinologist, the last time I had taken my book Hypothyroidism II, Dr. Mark Starr. I had been in contact with a friend who is biochemist in Hawaii, he told me to research decciated Thyroid, he said it has been approved by the FDA for over 50 years and it is way more effective for Treating the whole thyroid condition, over levothroxin, or syntheroid. So i did google it and came up with recent military research at Walter Reed Medical Center that basically stated, that in their research findings that many people did feel a difference on the desiccated Thyroid, that the T3 conversion over to T4 seemed to be more effective and it was ok to treat patients who requested they try it, age was not a factor or heart condition, My physician had placed her 80s mother on the desiccated thyroid and it made a huge difference in lifting her depression, like it did for me. I wanted the same for my mother. It totally worked for me. I had never felt the same after i came down with Hashimotos Disease in 1996, When i mentioned this to moms Dr, Wilson,  he basically told me that the whole book was garbage and i just closed it and left it at that, his mind was not receptive, and I already knew he couldnt debunk the research, it was out there and he already knew it. No one can debunk a physician who learned from JFK’s own endocrinologist Dr. Eugene Cohen.

Dr. Mark Star referenced his research on numerous occassions.  During all this time I had been taking mom to the vitamin and herb store to get her on the right immune boosters to keep her good cells and help her remain functional healthy. It bascially took a team of caregivers to give her round the clock care and we certainly didnt have that. I Loved my mother enough to know that some families dont handle it well when it comes to family and terminal illnesses. They dont understand that is all people want when they reach their senior years, is to have family arround. they want to die with dignity and family love intact. It is the ultimate unconditional gift to give them. Dr Dale Archer had posted a article on dignity and dying, I posted it on my wall and hoped that my family and friends read it, it is important. I have alot of compassion for people and animals. In my later years i have leaned more toward the wild animals and protecting their rights, Even our domestic pets, dogs and cats, have become so accustommed to being a family member their intelligence is evolving to coexist with us on a way higher level for healing and stress reduction.

My dog Hoshi taught me that, I never had a dog so attached to me and my kids,  before her, and I miss her. I wont get another dog, unless I have time and money to support one. They take alot more of your time than a cat who are basically independent and outdoors and  happy hunting mice and gophers. Animals deserve the freedom of their choosing on their life and how it is being lived. If a cat is happy being a indoor cat then keep them as a indoor cat, Toni the cat next door who adopted us, is in our home all the time. She is perfectly happy as a indoor cat. She does go outside too sometimes but she prefers the comfort of inside a home.  Jasper on the other hand, He is all faral in spirit, he prefers to be outdoors, climbing trees, walking the cinderblock cat freeway. We all deserve to die with the life we choose to live and that includes the animals we have domesticated too.

My mom passed away on a saturday evening, the dr at MICU at Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara, Ca callled me at like 6 in the evening, I didnt get there till it was dark, I had a friend drive me. Her organs were shutting down, so i made phone calls to family, and got down there with my kids as soon as I could. My oldest son Zach, really had a tough time seeing his grandmother sick, he didnt want to see her like that and mom understood, it hurt him to see her like that. My sister and her husband got there just before me and when we prayed and had the dr call the priest to give her last blessings to pass on to be with God and family. It was not easy to see her trying to talk to me with a tube down her throat to help her breath, the infection in her lungs was not responding to the medication. She had just been cleared of Cancer a few days before she went into the ICU, and she was dying from complications from side effects of the Chemo Therapy. I saw it, I watched it happen, What I didnt approve of them giving my mom medication to paralyze her, the side effects shuts down the organs, and they knew that in the MICU. She was laying there so peacefully, her body was bloated from being septic. Once the priest came and blessed and prayed over her. we all gathered arround and prayed for her, played jazz music for her, What happened next I was in disbelief, on the protocol for removing the tube. to let her pass on, my mother had talked with pallative care and they had told her the truth that she may not survive this infection.

She left me in Charge of her decisions. I knew exactly what she wanted. I let the dr and nurses know that its time to remove the tube to let her go.  It is what happened next is What floored me evidently a physician who isnt even in the hospital is on call to authorize the removal of life support from individuals over the phone. He had basically told me that they usually do it in the morning hours that is more convenient for the hospital, I basically told him that is not what my mother wants, she needs the tube removed now, and let her pass on, They were just trying to milk medicare for additional day costs. Typical big pharma protocol. He didnt want to do it but i insisted they do it, I told him why would let a person suffer longer when they are septic for the body accummulate even more infectious waste within it? that is not humane treatment. Once they removed tube we prayed and sang, I noticed mom was looking straight at me with one eye open and tears were building up in it, I knew she was watching me as she left us. Her heart beat for 15 minutes and then it peacefully stopped and she was surrounded by family and loving friends.

It has been almost 9 months since she has passed on, I taking my time for mourning, I maintained her home for 6 months before I had packed up the inside and moved it all into the garage to be donated to a local charity. only thing left inside was her furniture, which wasnt much. I took my time going through alot of the things i had never seen before like birth certificates of my grandparents, and their parents, mom was into keeping up with our family heritage. What a important task that she came up with in her later years. I feel her with me everyday, just like my dad, I know that she is happy up in heaven with her family and the lord. On Easter Sunday last year,  she dreamed of Helen Dana visiting her and saying hello, Haike had told me at the vitamin and herb store that when people are near their date of death they do dream of family members who are waiting for them to cross over. It becomes a very spiritual experience. My mourning is subsiding, the only thing that remains is tears when i think of her, but I have come to understand that they are tears of happiness for her, that she isnt suffering any more. She was happy with her life and she was ready whenever the Lord called for her. I love you Mom. Thank you for everything that you have done for me down hereon earth as my Mother You were the best you could be.


Primerica Dressed for Success

How What Makes You Different
Can Make you Exceptional

What most people that know me don’t know is that I have to attribute my friendship with one very special man Shon that has become my best friend online. I’m almost at a loss for words to begin our story together. I found this very intriguing profile on a website Hot or Not. He had some pretty impressive word usage with pictures that would attract any woman on the site and by gosh they did. He had women flocking to his profile. He wasn’t looking for a relationship, just seeking to spread the idea of Universal Love, and erase Hate in the world.  He didn’t know that my friend Kenan Hudaverdi from the UK has left me the US representative for his Campaign for Saving Lives in America.

I actually emailed him in Hot or Not and to my surprise he messaged me back. He was very evasive answering back but I didn’t push the issue sometimes a few weeks would go by before he answered me back.  We Talked in this website for a few months. We graduated to email; We quickly discovered that we were on the same page everyday with our thoughts. We spent countless hours emailing each other every day for over a year. Sending pictures of each other back and forth, sharing music in spotify or youtube, I uploaded family home videos. We both kept each other updated on our progress at the gym and fitness level improved for both of us last year.

My life of course would hit bumps in the road I took a detour from the gym to get financially back on track to start again.  There would be times where Shon would disappear and I felt sad during those days because he wasn’t exactly very good and keeping me updated about what was going on his life he was still evasive about something’s. My other friend Heidi has always been there for support for me like a Rock.

Shon Travels sometimes for work over to India, Dominican Republic, England where his parents live, and NYC is home for him. Anyone who works in the Jewelry Industry knows the demands this career entails. I think it really surprised Shon what I already knew about the Industry. Shon’s specialty is Gemstones. Emeralds are his favorite. We both share Blue as our favorite Color, He loves the Big Full Moon; the magnetism of the gravitational pull invigorates him. We both share a love for Nature itself; it just invigorates the both of us together as one.

We are both very connected on a spiritual level that I have never felt before with anyone. Even though I have never talked to Shon over the phone or met in person. I know he is a real man with a heart as big as California Sunshine. He sent me a video in January 2011, and I watch it at least once a month or more to hear his voice. When you meet a person online they only divulge what they want you to see. Even though you may think you know someone you could be completely in the dark about what is really going on in that person’s life. Shon had been going through some spiritual healing with his family during our first year talking.

He would divulge pieces of his life that most men wouldn’t divulge because they would consider it too personal. I always thought that if a man trusts you with personal information that he must have faith and trust in you to do so. When I asked Shon about publicizing our story for Dr.Dale Archer for our 1st Anniversary He gave me the Ok, but I’m just now getting to it and somehow It feels wrong for me to be telling it without his involvement, perhaps if I ask him tomorrow to do some audio on thoughts he would like me to say would help with the writing.

He says that I’m the nicest person he has ever known in his entire life, and wonders If I’m his Angel sent from God. I would have to say yes I’m, Only because the feeling is mutual about him entering my life Which I already know it is a blessing from God.The past few months have been extremely educational  for me about Shon. He is the only Man I have ever met that acknowledges his faults, and sought out help on his own to heal himself from the trauma throughout his lifetime. He told me it was Social Nervousness Anxiety, addiction to Alcohol, issues with Control over others, was affecting his social interaction with others.  He told me that he has been going to psycho-therapy, hypnotherapy, and Emotionally focused therapy aka EFT.

Shon is also going to be having treatment for EMDR mainly treatment for PTSD.  The EMDR is the last leg of his treatment, and he had finished his EFT treatments less than a few days before Hurricane Sandy Hit the NYC/NJ area. He did talk to his therapist after the Hurricane which I was very concerned about from him having to see and experience trauma from the storm. He is still having the EFT treatments.  Millions have been displaced and left without a home, job, or a business. Shon’s home is Ok, He told me he lives on a hill, and it was just his uncle, cousin and a few friends at his place. There was no damage.

As Shon was seeking his treatment I had sought out the healing rooms which I still continue to attend as often as I can. I’m in the process of getting my mother over there for her healing but it has been difficult with her numerous Dr. apt the past few weeks. I have to ensure that she is available one morning next week. I’m very anxious for her to feel better than what she has. I know all well too well with all her illnesses she can’t feel good at all, and it is breaking down her spirit but it is coming back since I have been praying for her and spending more time with her. I really enjoy spending time with her and helping her out. Nothing better than that family bond we developed when we were younger.

Shon is very close to his family and friends as well; When I first met him he was going out to beach with his friends for the weekends and playing Volleyball all that summer in 2011. It was very nice to know he had that male bonding and closeness with his dad, uncle, cousins.

I’m So excited for Shon. He has a lot of courage to face his problems head-on. I’m so proud of him for that. He told me a while ago that I have been his inspiration from the very beginning, and I believe him. It was shortly after we had met, I don’t remember what quite happened in Hot or Not with all of those women he was getting a lot of attention from and they never mattered to me or him. He reached out for me in an email with persistence to not give up on him, that he felt this strong spiritual connection for me over anyone that he had never felt before and that we would always be in each other’s life no matter what.

Shon and I have no plans yet to meet in person as of yet, I’m currently working on sending two Dr. Dale Archer’s book: Better than Normal, How What Makes you Different Can Make you Exceptional to Dr. Archer to Autograph for Shon and I. This is my gift I had bought for both Shon and I back in April on our one year friendship anniversary. I have not read the book yet, not until I receive the signed copy back and Shon has his so that we can read them together and become a success story for Dr. Archer’s webpage

What do you all think of Radical Thinking. I come across the term as a self description from Byron Katie on Youtube for her “Work”  on the three sister segments.    

I watched them all to see her demonstrate her ideas and thoughts of how she effectively helps people with this method. It was such a complex, analytical thought process that actually had people think they were the problem. Wouldn’t it be simpler put to just acknowledge that we are all hipocrits. It is part of our human nature that cant be avoided.

     I  can totally understand people who look within themselves for self -Improvement. Her approach to me from what i read of two adults who were plain and simply put bullied, and Escorted out of the AutismOne Conference last month. when they had paid their registrations because they were believed to be or the Director of AutismOne implied to the security and police that they were journalists and asked to leave. They were there for the same reasons that anyone else is there for the education and resources. So why were they bullied out of the Conference? 

     From what i was told by a attendee, there were cops all over the place at the conference. What for? Security personal at the doorways i can understand. I attended Primerica’s Convention in Atlanta in 2007. The only security i saw there with over 60,000 attendees was just at the exits and entrances. These two individuals stated that they were escorted out of the conference when they were willing to leave on thier own accord.

      They were told that the Autism One Conference is a private Conference. How can that be if it was open to the public free of charge to anyone. It was held at a public venue, not on private property in a residential neighborhood.  We as parents of Children affected with Autism looking for resources and help.

It would be incomprehensible to even attempt to know what a any child afflicted with autism is thinking at any given moment. Like Carly Fleishmann  pointed out  on her video when she sees people she is taking  thousands of pictures of the person in her brain.  At  that thought process speed, she is just one Autism child. How would you even attempt use Radical thinking to comprehend and understand their feelings. It would be impossilbe in my opinon.

      People who really know me, will tell you that I’m a pretty simple thinker myself. My thought process i can tell you growing up with my family they never could understand why i think the way I do. My decisions because they were based on my own simplicity they attempted radical thinking in an  to what they called talk some sense into me. I interpreted that as Conform to the Norm of Society. Isn’t it that very thing that sets the Autism Epidemic off from everything else in the way we all think as Individuals? Why would you want that discouraged?

     When I involve people into my life i look to them for positive reinforcment for my personal growth. Not to be held back from ideas and thoughts that are pointless to me. They don’t hold value for what is in all of our hearts. We have full control over our emotions and we change when we are ready.

      Today was a good example. My typical day to take loren to his swim lessons in the morning, we come home eat lunch, and get caught up on some chores, and internet work for me until we leave for kids fitness class at the gym and i go to my spinning class. Last week the instructor told me that Loren just stopped 10 minutes into the class and wasn’t participating. He Participated the previous tuesday without a hitch.

      So why a change of heart? His Workers at CalifPyschCare have known for over a year that he has problems engaging with group activities that he isn’t familiar with. Football last year shed light on this obstacle that was preventing him from engaging with his peers on a personal level. Loren is very pecular in a sense that he wont fully engage period when he doesn’t want too. 

      I was pulled out of my spinning class 30 minutes into it today by his Worker, because Loren went into total meltdown mode and  she is a new worker that isnt familiar with him. I have emphasized this problem at Tri County meetings too. Loren engages once he sees me, and then i calm him down, and he knows that his tricks dont work with me that he pulls with his workers or anyone else for that matter trying to keep him engaged. It is plain and simple if you dont have a good repore with him he wont work with you. If he does choose to work with you, it is very limited. Radical Thinking wouldnt work.

     We came home no TV, No PC  for games today. tomorrow is a new day. We will see how Loren’s Awesome day chart looks on Saturday.   Frustration over any situation is picked up by any child you dont have to be autistic for that to happen either it happens with newborns and infants.

      It is not emotionally healthy if you dont keep those feelings in check. Reality is we are parents who are probably going to spending the remainder of our lives taking care of them. Why have those feelings imploding within the family thinking that we are the problem? When in fact the problem is acknowledging and accepting what God has given you. and Changing it and enhancing it for the better for everyone arround.

     It is the same thought process that Loren’s Worker from Sojourn Services Inc. had taught me to Use the timer when disciplining a child. Why, Because the anger that child is feeling is being placed on a inanimate object instead of the parent. Thus calming down the situation to have it manageable again with the right implentation of the discipline.

     My thoughts on the father son doctor team who had the license revoked for practicing extreme radical methods for treating Autism with no research to validate what they were practicing. Very Dangerous Territory for anyone to expose your child too. It is very sad to see children hurt in that manner. What is alarming is that this father son team were speakers at the AutismOne Conference. They were more dangerous to the general public than the two people who were bullied out of the Conference.

       What is the problem with taking pictures, or audio or video? Primerica has no such limits at any of their functions. Why is AutismOne Conference so paranoid about Journalists at their Convention? This is America, We have freedom of speech which is everyones right.


I retweeted this article and after i read it. It had only covered generalized information concerning Mold.

     Being the Parents of Children with Autism or any other neurological disorder needs to pay more attention to what I’m  about to inform you of Toxic Mold, that you can’t see that is hidden in your walls. I worked in the Carpet Cleaning and Flooring restoration business for just over 4 years and My Ex-Husband was a  Certified technician  through the IICRC aka Institution of inspection, Cleaning and Restoration Certification.

      As a consumer i want  you all to please become proactive and learn from these specialists. Certified Firms can have numerous certifications listed with IICRC, but not every employee will be certified. I would make sure that the person holding those certifications is on site monitoring the work throughout the day. IICRC issues a wallet size and document size certificates to everyone who passes their courses. Ask to see those certificates and not a copy.

       Three years ago I had a IICRC Certified firm, Install new carpet in my home. They installed the wrong padding, and i had them clean 3 bedrooms that were not installed. The Cleaning technician had a copy of a full document certificate with his name on it, When in fact when i called the IICRC he wasn’t certified to clean.

     I knew right away because my livingroom, diningroom, and hallway had new carpet installed and he started to carpet clean the brand new carpet in the hall. Anytime a technician cleans brand new carpeting it nullifies the Warranty of the Carpet. When i called IICRC and reported what they had done, I was not charged for the carpet or the installation. They had just installed a cheap grade of carpet and were attempting to charge me the rate of at least a good medium grade installion of carpet and padding.

     The IICRC monitors and maintains the standards of  Carpet Cleaning, Water and Fire Damage, Installion of all floorings and they even have Certified Inspectors for home inspections for Toxic Mold and will testify to their findings in a court of law which my kids dad has done several times to prove faulty construction. He has been working in this industry in Orange County for over the past 10 plus years, and has his certifications with IICRC.

     Toxic Mold is very dangerous if left undetected in your home. It does permanent nervous system damage if it doesn’t kill you 1st. There are thousands of homes in Orange County and Los Angeles that have this mold. Removal is a complex process once done they reconstruct the area back to code.

      Alot of the reasons they are finding is that Construction companies sub contract out portions of the homebuilding and when the city inspectors inspect the home during specific phases of construction they sign off on that phase before they can continue. Cities are always strapped for cash so they cut corners too. They want those property tax dollars.

     Alot of companies cut corners to keep their cost of building down, and use migrant workers who are not certified or knowledgeable of the building codes they are just day laborers working with little to no supervision. There are multi million dollar homes that are affected with Toxic Mold, The Insurance Industry does not cover the cost of damage of your home on your Home Owners insurance.

     What has happened is that once a certified inspector inspects the home they are looking for location of the Mold and at the construction at that location to determine the cause of the mold.  Faulty Construction in most cases, and thus any Toxic Mold Damage in the home or health of persons affected then reverts back to the Builder’s Liability insurance where it belongs. The IICRC link is very helpful locating a certified firm or technician in your area.

Chief Sulpher Springs Stallion

Alot of you already know that I volunteer with my family at  I consider it my sanctuary just from watching the herds interact with each other on any given day. Their abilities to Mirror people is really asstounding to me.  Especially since my youngest son Loren has Autism and Mirrors alot of behaviors of other people, especially his older brother Zach. We go out to the Sanctuary and whenever Loren approaches the fence, the horses have all their eyes glued on him. Just watching him to see how he moves and reacts arround them. There is a sense of calmness between the horses and Loren that is so profound that you would swear they had telepathy and talking to each other. I wanted to share this article I’m posting because this awareness of this type of therapy benefits everyone regardless who you are.


Why Horses?
Those who are familiar with horses recognize and understand the power of horses to influence people in incredibly powerful ways. Developing relationships, training, horsemanship instruction, and caring for the horses naturally affects the people involved in a positive manner.

The benefits of work ethic, responsibility, assertiveness, communication, and healthy relationships has long been recognized. Horses naturally provide these benefits. The use of horses is growing and gaining popularity with the rise of new approaches in working with the horses, including the field of Equine Assisted Psychotherapy.

We are often asked, “Why horses? Why not other animals?”

Horses are large and powerful, which creates a natural opportunity for some to overcome fear and develop confidence. The size and power of the horse are naturally intimidating to many people. Accomplishing a task involving the horse, in spite of those fears, creates confidence and provides for wonderful metaphors when dealing with other intimidating and challenging situations in life.

Horses are very much like humans in that they are social animals. They have defined roles within their herds. They would rather be with their peers. They have distinct personalities, attitudes, and moods. An approach that seems to work with one horse, does not necessarily work with another. At times, they seem stubborn and defiant. They like to have fun. In other words, horses provide vast opportunities for metaphorical learning. Using metaphors, in discussion or activity, is an effective technique when working with even the most challenging individuals or groups.

Horses require work, whether in caring for them or working with them. In an era when immediate gratification and the “easy way” are the norm, horses require people to be engaged in physical and mental work to be successful, a valuable characteristic in all aspects of life.

Most importantly, horses have the ability to mirror exactly what human body language is telling them. Many people will complain, “The horse is stubborn. The horse doesn’t like me,” etc. But the lesson to be learned is that if they change themselves, the horses respond differently. Horses are honest, which makes them especially powerful messengers.


Cassie 4 Months Old

First off I need to Thank Candyce Estave for passing on this information to our Autism group page in yahoo. She passes on some pretty amazing articles that have been researched from earlier years on the Supression of Acute Diseases as you will read very interesting perspective for the reasons behind not giving the vaccinations. I tend to agree with their approach to medicine.
As with my daughter Cassie she had the ChickenPox at 4 months old, and right after she had gotten over them, She started having really bad ear infections back to back and went through countless rounds of antibiotics to keep her ears clear. I had complete faith in Loma Linda Pediatrics Center they were on the ball when it come to very young children and illnesses. Back in 1991 parents were’nt suspicious of Vaccinations and their link to their illnesses. perhaps she had vaccinations arround that same timeframe that jeopardized her immune system during those years. When there is genetics and vaccinations involved I don’t look to point fingers or blame on anyone, Just Answers and better options to fix the problems. Blame gets people no where. We as parents have a responsibility to our children since it was our decision to procreate and bring them into this world.
When I read this article it made perfect sense to me. I remember when i was like 5 or 6, my brother and sister both came down with measles, but I never did. Mom has always told me she waited for me to get them but never happened. I did however suffer from a Very High Fever that reached up to or just over 105.
It worried my parents enough to Call Father Silvano from our Church to make a home visit to bless me. I just remember sleeping alot and very listless. waking up and seeing father standing over the foot of my bed talking to my parents. The fever lasted a few days before it broke.

It is my own health in the USAF when I really started paying attention, I was active duty for 12 years 10 months which included my entire pregnancy and birth of Cassie. She was born at March AFB, Ca on Mother’s day May 12, 1991. When Cassie came down with the chicken pox it was me that stayed home for 10 days to take care of her, my ex husband worked 12 hr shifts at the warehouse. In November the following month the USAF told me I needed to get the flu vaccine, I told them Im not sick, they said its mandatory so when I went to the hospital, and got the vaccination within a month of Cassie having the chicken pox I came down with a very severe case of Strep Throat with a high grade fever over 103 three weeks later. I went to the ER at the base hospital and they told me that I was a Strep Carrier I informed them that my daughter was home recovering recently fm the Chicken pox I cant be sick I have to take care of her too, they gave me the antiobiotic shot in the hip. I didnt know about vaccine shedding back then, but oddly thats exactly what i associated my strep throat lead me to believe it was the vaccine.

No Vaccine to prevent disease should make you sick.  I got discharged fm the service in 1992 never had another vaccine other than tetnas and with the research showing so much causation and correlation to autism with the MMR Vaccine, Autoimmune disorders and syndromes from the adjuvents that are toxic to humans which are in vaccines researched in the NIH  who also hold patents on vaccines this is clearly in violation of the Nuremberg Code, The Geneva Convention, The Constitution of the United States. To mandate/force vaccination to the public. has all 4 CDCWHISTEBLOWER recording of dr Thompson with dr Hooker of the evidendence of over 10,000 documents  now on senator Bill Poseys website Vaccine links to CDC, NVIC, information on vaccine safety and inserts physicians are suppose to show you and dont. NIH research linking adjuvents fm vaccines to autoimune diseases and disorders. ASIA

Why Measles Might Be Necessary (and all the childhood illnesses)

“It is well known that measles is an important development milestone in the life and maturing processes in children. Why would anybody want to stop or delay the maturation processes of children and of their immune systems?”–Viera Scheibner

“In Annals of Tropical Paediatrics, [53] the following case is reported: 1984 a 5 year-old girl presented with a bad case of psoriasis. She showed large affected areas on her body and extremities, also involving to a significant degree her scalp. During the following year she was treated by Pediatricians and Dermatologists with coal tar preparations, local steroids, UV light, and dithranol wraps. Despite these therapies and two hospitalizations, the psoriasis was refractory and remained essentially unchanged until she came down with measles. As the measles rash began to spread over her skin, the psoriasis disappeared. Since then she has been free of psoriasis.”–Thomas Quak,

“After contracting measles and other childhood illnesses (e.g.. chickenpox, scarlet fever, whooping cough, rubella, mumps and may be others), it has been widely accepted by many health practitioners, including experienced orthodox paediatricians that this is often beneficial for the general health of many children. Specifically it has been shown that children contracting measles naturally were less likely to suffer from allergic conditions such as asthma, eczema and hayfever, (Lancer June 29 1996).”—Trevor Gunn BSc

“Most parents today find it quite difficult to understand why they have to have their child vaccinated against this particular disease (measles) when their mothers used to organise measles parties to ensure all the children of the family had it!” In fact a mild dose of measles stimulates the immature immune system, in the correct sequence, to develop naturally, thereby strengthening the child generally.”–Christina J Head MCH Rs. Hon

“Experiencing the measles actually strengthens the immune system. If measles is experienced generation after generation the disease gets weaker in its manifestation and becomes stronger in the identifying properties of the DNA/RNA chain. This passes on a permanent immunity to future generations from that particular lineage. If there is a virgin population that has never experienced the disease, then these individuals have a more likely chance of having more severe complications of that illness. Measles, along with, chickenpox, smallpox, any herpes, ringworm is a Tubercular Miasm.”–Phyllis (AVN list)

“the process of recovering from the natural disease also “primes” the organism nonspecifically to respond promptly and efficiently to other micro-organisms in the future. A crucial step in the maturation of a healthy immune system, the ability to mount a vigorous, acute response to infection unquestionably represents a major ingredient of optimum health and well-being in general…………………It has taken us many centuries of adaptation and “herd immunity” to convert it into an ordinary childhood disease, such that, when I first encountered it at the age of 6, nonspecific mechanisms were already in place to help me deal with it effectively. In that historical sense, the permanent immunity acquired by recovery from the natural disease represents an absolute net gain for the total health of the race as well. However the vaccines act inside the human body, true natural immunity or any other qualitative benefit cannot be ascribed to them: their effectiveness is a mere statistic, and the resulting “immunity” a narrowly defined technicality.”—Richard Moskowitz, M.D.(Vaccination: A Sacrament of Modern Medicine

“Relation between psoriasis and measles” (Z. Hautkr., vol. 57, no. 6, March 15, 1982, pp. 439-40 [article in German]): Psoriatics with measles in the history had a light type of psoriasis and low titers of measles antibodies; psoriatics without measles in the history, however, had severe types of psoriasis, and the titers of measles antibodies were high.”

Miasms are a complicated subject but basically are, by definition, the affects of infections and their sequels, which are collective diseases of common cause and similar symptoms. These are infections we experience or unresolved things resulting from infections in our parents or ancestors (can be inherited or acquired)

From Margaret Roy, “The Principles of Homeopathic Philosophy” (book)…………

“You may come across this term in some books, so a few words here are appropriate.

An acute miasm [“is a disease that”… addition….Sheri] occurs once in a lifetime. Diseases such as measles, chicken pox, mumps, rubella, whooping cough, diphtheria, polio, smallpox, etc are examples. They are almost all childhood illnesses, and that is the clue to their role.

An acute miasm is as it says, an acute expression of the underlying miasm. The vital force of the child is much stronger than that of an adult, so it can attempt to throw out, through an acute illness, what an adult could not. Through the childhood illnesses, the stronger vital force of the child attempts to unburden some of the miasmic load it has inherited. Later on, polluted and devitalized by the environment, and by stress and bad habits, it cannot do this, or if it does, the childhood diseases are often more severe in the adult.

So, an acute miasm is a special kind of acute disease that strikes deep enough to change the constitution, and this is why the homeopath does not believe in suppressing diseases such as mumps, chicken pox, rubella, etc.”

My comments on the above information that I teach in my homeopathy classes……….

I would suggest that vaccines do not prevent diseases – they just sensitize and basically give you a chronic case of the disease so you can’t get an acute one. We have traded acute illness for chronic illness. And by the time each vaccine came out the deaths had already declined greatly and in many cases deaths increased after the vaccine. So it takes a lot of looking into to see through the propaganda.

So not only have children not had the chance to throw off miasmatic layers; or the chance to build their immune systems with the challenge of illness; they have had further layers of damaged piled on with all that the vaccine does and adds.

Its take a little to wrap your head around this as it is totally different to anything you have probably been taught.

Acute miasm and acute illness are somewhat the same thing. Only usually what we refer to as an acute miasm (in homeopathy) is something you only get once – ie. chickenpox, measles, etc.

We have interrupted a process whereby chronic miasms (disturbances) were dealt with early on in life by acute miasms (illness) before and since vaccination, the child is unable to and therefore we have created generations of diseased, chronically ill humans

A lot of this is theoretical – how we try to explain it from a homeopathic perspective. Acute miasms are able to help unburden the chronic miasm load……………….but not all are susceptible to measles, etc …….it seems not all ‘need’ to get this disease to help unburden. These diseases (ie measles and all) have developed over millenia – a symbiosis?

FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO DELVE DEEPER – now this will be challenging but there if you want it

This is the Organon, the writings of Samuel Hahnemann, discoverer of Homeopathy – this online edition has his 5th & 6th editions.
Read the 6th edition. The last one that he did. This is where we get our laws and principles from.

Read Aphorisms 46 – 51
About measles being able to cure other diseases.

More on acute and chronic diseases (miasms)
Acute & Chronic Diseases
Read Aphorisms 72-81
Psora & the Miasms
Aphorisms 80-81
Aphorisms 204 – 209

We are unable to throw of inherited and acquired illness (miasms) as well are other acquired and inherited disturbances (non-infectious) – collective diseases that can include physical and mental traumas, endemic nutritional deficiencies, exposure of a group to poisons and toxins & vaccines & drugs, as well as environmentally induced disorders such as the affects of living in an unhealthy climate, dead buildings, negative telluric affects, etc. (these are not miasms but are disturbances).

We are not given the opportunity to throw of chronic miasms and ALSO HAVE added further disturbance with the vaccine.

Certain children more susceptible to complications from measles so need to be aware – that is why a homeopath can be so helpful…..
“A constitution with the inherited TB miasm is especially susceptible to acute miasms that affect the eyes, ear, nose, throat, glands, and respiratory tract. Those with a TB constitution often experience dangerous complications to the common acute miasms of childhood, such as measles, mumps, and chickenpox.”.



I have to say after watching this video last week

I was glued to the screen. It made me think back to the 60′s /70′s when a lot of our Christmas gifts came out of the Sears Catalog. With the passing of decades, technology, and generations I can totally relate to why so many kids in the nation seem to not have the family values that were engraved in our brains at an early age. I have met and seen so many families throughout the years, that their very existence as a completely interactive functioning unit has been depleted and replaced with the social stress, work, managing and taking care of families of just maintaining your life.

What happened to the idea of simplicity in a family? Everything is so complex. As the Technology industry pushes forward, so do we, but at what expense? It is becoming more common for kids becoming entrepreneurs at a very young age. There went their childhood during their formative years  blew away with the wind. We are constantly exposed to lifestyles portrayed over media outlets and we as humans are evolving in response to what is in our everyday lives. Reality sinks in when we look within ourselves and see where we are, and how do you fit in to this picture projected of how life should be. Everyone should develop their own interpretation to project how they want their life to be in later years.

Mine, as I blogged on Mother’s Day to my mom painted a perfect picture of the traditions we grew up with and the appreciation for Life itself. I was living what I considered the best life possible. I considered it the American dream. I had a fulfilling Air Force Career, a beautiful home, 2 beautiful children, a husband who was a very hard worker and of course our pets, Koko the cat, and Hoshi our Akita.

We were considered a very close family, my brother married 1st and had his 2 kids at least 10 years before my sister and I settled down. I was happy and spending a lot of time with my sister, brother, Sister in law, brother-in-law. Holidays were the best when we were all together. Family togetherness was the most important bond to have and I was very blessed.

I can remember memories back to the age of 2, living in Long Beach, Ca. Mostly of my great Grandfather on my mom’s side in his wheelchair. I was very aware of my surroundings, my mom, my brother, and sister. Mom told me I didn’t talk till the age of 3. We moved to a small Town Nipomo, California up on the mesa with hundreds if not thousands of acres behind our house. We had a beautiful view of Santa Maria from our back porch. I loved it there. I’m the youngest of 3 siblings, all born in exactly 3 years. My brother the oldest had received me as a gift for his 3rd birthday. I’m not sure how he felt about me on that day I never asked him. He kept to himself allot and read allot.

By the time I reached the age of 3 moms and dad had gotten us horses, Brownie for us kids, he was a mustang gelding that stood 16 hands. He was a foal of moms mare trixie her horse she had at age 16 and older. I loved Moms saddle. Dad had built a huge Barn with Dutch Doors, 3 huge stalls, hay barn, tack room, breezeway. Everyone thought he was building another house. We were baptized by Father Maroon at St. Joseph’s Church.

I loved the small Catholic Community My God Parents lived across the street. I considered my childhood the cream of the crop, Vacations every year for 2 weeks, Disneyland trips once a year, Mt. Able for snow in the winter every year. We camped, water-skied, hiked, and participated in church fundraising events to build a new church. We always had BBQ’s, Birthdays Holiday celebrations, I loved the simplicity of our childhood, and wish my kids could have experienced the same things. Needless to say Life was good growing up in the Martin Household.

Mom and dad were very dedicated when it came to education, religion, and community involvement. We all graduated from St. Joseph’s High in Santa Maria. My brother progressed to his education at USC, He had scholarships to the school, and he was always the 4. 0 student in our house, my sister always got by’s, Me, I always got C’s D’s and F’s. Learning didn’t come easy for me, reading was the toughest. I remember when I got my hands slapped by my 1st grade teacher because I didn’t understand what I was suppose to do. I had a few tough days and refused to go to school, after what had transpired. My mom drove me a few days to make sure I was going to be ok.

Which later came to light that the psychiatrist back then wanted me in public school? Mom said she wanted me medically checked to rule out anything but she said my dad said no. They both thought I would be better off left in Catholic school. Growing up in the 60′s there was no medical insurance. I struggled through 7th grade the worse and after that 8th grade on up it seemed so much easier. I never gave up trying to achieve the grades my sister and brother received. I hated disappointing myself and my parents for that aspect of my life. I did however focus and reach my goal of obtaining a college prep diploma.

I was so relieved when I graduated. I was really conflicted on what I wanted to do with my life. I grew with Horses as my passion, only to have it engraved in my brain that I needed a real job to earn money. Jobs were not that plentiful in Santa Maria, or Nipomo. I was attending a few courses at the junior college but I wasn’t serious about remaining in school. 13 years of it was enough for while. My best friend across the street, convinced me to take the Air Force Entrance Exam, we talked to the recruiter, and had planned to enlist in the buddy program. The only problem with that is: She deliberately failed the test, an A student, and I passed the test. I got a guaranteed job in Communications, computer operations. I guess I tested high in math. Algebra was my favorite math subject, Geometry flew over my head. I was leaving in April for basic Training. I was so excited to be earning my own income and getting my feet planted on the ground.

After a serious head on collision the end of that March in 1979, my enlistment was delayed until I got cleared from the doctor and basic was pushed back to June that same year. I loved the Air Force, taught me so much work ethics, discipline, managing my life in general. It was a life saver. 12 yrs , 10 months later I separated due to the reduction in military. The kid’s dad and I had bought our house just over a year before and our daughter was just a year old.

When I arrived a basic training at Randolph AFB, TX it became an interesting 6 weeks. It was June, 85 degrees at 5AM, we were up dressed and out doing our Morning Physical training and jogging in formation at 5:30. As I approached the 4 to 5 week mark I was going to wonder if I was going to hold up. I had developed a cold in my chest that wouldn’t clear. The change in atmosphere was doing a number on my immune system. I sure never had a sinus infection until I arrived in Texas. I made it through, got my tech school assignment to Sheppard AFB, Texas in Witchita Falls for the next 9 weeks to learn my career field. It was  a very productive school for me it worked.

After graduating tech school I flew home, I went to the ford dealership and bought my very 1st Car a Ford Fairmont. Dad was very instrumental in keeping me with what I could afford. I was finally financially independent and it felt great to see life from an adult perspective. I got assigned to Whiteman AFB, Missouri as my first assignment. I drove Cross Country on my own, with a trip ticket from AAA. It was a really beautiful site to go beyond anywhere I had been before in a car on my own.  I really liked the Road trips, I had made a one more trip back to California when I got my next assignment in the Azores for 27 months. I drove home and dad and mom drove me to LAX  on March 31st, 1981 I was airborne about halfway across the country when the pilot gave us the news that a Assassination attempt on President Reagan, He said that he was ok.

     When I got to the Azores it was paradise, a small  quaint archipelago of 9 islands sitting 800 miles of the coast of Portugal. It took a while to get used to seeing all 4 branches of the military on the base, it was intriguing to me to see and observe their military mission to support the base. I had made lots of friends, Cost of living was very cheap over there. A sweet steak dinner for two, with Mateuse Wine was 10 dollars, Cigarettes over in the commissary was 2 dollars, Gasoline 1.45 a gallon. Too bad we can’t get that price for Gasoline here now. I went home for Christmas the 2 years I was over there.  When I arrived back in the Azores in January of 82 or 83, the landing gear on the C-141 wouldn’t work. We landed on the Grass field in-between the landing strips.  A flawless crash landing, I wasn’t scared so much because I knew that I was in good hands with God. The Island life is phenomenal there, I had found out from my mom that her grandparents emigrated from Sao Miguel over to Honolulu, Hawaii where she was born. I want to go back there someday.

      It was a very spiritual time for me there. I got my next assignment to Tinker AFB, Ok. To the 3rd Combat Communications Group. I wasn’t happy to be back in the Midwest, but after I got there and made friends it was a great assignment. Their mission was accept orders from the Joint Chief of Staff, for combat communications. We were always the 1st ones on the scene in Grenada, I wanted that tdy so bad but they picked others who had more experience. I could have gone to South America for 6 months, or Egypt, Saudi Arabia, they were mostly remote tours 6 months long. I never felt comfortable about being over in the middle east with their religious beliefs. I was way too independent and thought my mouth would get me into trouble.

      We were always told in mob school whenever you are in a different country you fall under their legal system to obey their laws. I had heard stories from plenty of people how they pushed the Americans arrivals to the front of Chop Chop Square. I’m not going into details on that, people can Google it. We had failed our IG inspection and the commander was sending us out into the field almost every weekend to practice, We convoyed to 2 locations, set up camp and get into our combat mode of operating. We had allot of fun during those trips. Yes I did drive those Big Huge Trucks with the pentle hooks I still have my military license in my records of what I was classified to drive. After months of  going out to our practice location, Washington came down on our Commander for the excessive money he was spending because of failure of the inspection.  We  got new a commander that put a stop to our training.  We were all happy then all 2000 computer operators who were still on base if we weren’t assigned somewhere. In September of 83 orders came for  Weisbaden, Germany,  During Oktoberfest for 3 weeks.  My bags were packed and off I went. We worked 12 hours days, and it was nonstop fun. I loved the countryside, people and food over there. My roommate  had been stationed over there before.  I had bought my VCR which was very new technology that year and paid 60 dollars for the Movie “Flash Dance” over in the  base exchange.

     When it came close to us leaving guess what? More orders came in, for Oslo Norway for 3 Weeks. Off we went to Oslo and Kolsas. What a beautiful country Norway is. Everyone we came across spoke English, they teach it in their school. It was October not much snow yet.  We did tour the city and buy fresh shrimp off the boats.   Reindeer Filet was on the menu in restaurants. I  loved their culture too. We went up to where they held the 1980 Olympics, my roommate and I climbed 8 stories of stairs to the ski jump to find out when we got to the top that the elevator was working. We just laughed. Amazing view from the top, we took allot of train rides throughout the country side to see more of the country when we could outside of work.

      I had never heard of Kolsas before I got there it reminded me allot of Cheyenne Mountain Complex, only for NATO in Norway.  One evening the fire alarm went off in the hotel ,  everyone had to evacuate your room, we left and got downstairs and every one of the Norwegian hotel guests  was bringing their luggage down.  My roommate and I were confused, or perhaps an emergency  was different in that country.

Our return from Norway, we stopped and changed planes in NY at la guardian airport, so many different cultures of people with spiked hair, wearing studs on their clothing. I started feeling claustrophobic just being in the airport People were swarming everywhere like ants.  We were all glad to get back to Tinker to the rest of our friends. Had an amazing 6 weeks, and things settled down Everyone got back to daily lives. It was Oklahoma City that gave me my 1st Experience with Wal-Mart.  We had Kmart out in California that was very similar to Wal-Mart. I really loved Kmart. We had one here in Lompoc and they filed bankruptcy again, and closed their store here . I miss them here.

     About 6 months later a 2 month assignment came up for Luke AFB, Arizona in the communications center. It was only for one person, in the Communications Center, they recruited me for this one because of the troubles they were having . I typed the fastest, at 85 words per minute on a KSR -26 teletype machine in the blind.  I did go,  got the comm. center back on track for what their performance should have been well  within Air Force regulations.  

 I wasn’t back in OKC that long to get assigned to March AFB, Ca, finally I get assigned to my home state closer to home well at least 3.5 hours south. I couldn’t wait to drive home .When I arrived at March AFB, I was very interested in learning the history of the base it just intrigued me that much.  The Hollywood connection was the most fascinating to me.  Clint Eastwood had just finished filming “ Firefox “at the 15AF Command Post where I was going to be working. The Scenes with Russian Command Post is where I worked. It was great to be home again, being stationed over in the Midwest was totally different not having a beach. Sure they had lakes, but it was the sea life I messed the air.

      No humidity to really speak of here. One of my best friends from the Azores was stationed over in LA Air Station.  An hour drive west is all it was. I was stationed at March from October 1984 till I separated in April of 1992 Almost a year after Cassie was born.  I lived in the dorms for at least a year, After a few years in the  15AF Command post, I went over to the comm. center, worked there for a few more years and then  worked in the  office with the Major for a while, before I went over to the DATA Processing Center where I was working last when I separated. I had made so  many friends and experienced so much fun.

I spent a lot of those years, traveling to home and Fresno to go camping with my sister and her husband, or visiting mom and dad. It was the 1st time me and my sister had ever gotten this close as siblings. We spent allot of time near Yosemite National Park, hiking, camping, Rock Climbing down at Joshua Tree National Park,  Skiing over at Badger pass. My sister had become a river raft guide several years before, and We  went down the North Fork of the American River when it was record fall for rain and snow, there had been a few deaths already that year from rafting.  I got sucked out of the boat when we were in Meat Grinder, the current was holding me under I’m looking up I can see my sister, pulling another lady out  who above me, I didn’t want to grab her legs and pull her down. I had to stop and think a moment to relax.  Swim just as she taught me to prepare me for such accidents. I ended up in an eddy ¼ mile from the  rapids. She was very happy to see me. She thought I was a gone for good.

     I had 2 roommates that became pregnant at the same time. One had separated and went home for more support to raise her daughter the other had stayed.  I helped her everyday I could, she was like my daughter too. She is in her 30’s now with 2 daughter s  of her own.  I love both their daughters as if they were my own. One is happy in Oklahoma where their home was, and the other I have lost track of  many years ago .  I still think of them they will always be family in my heart.  In 1985 I moved off base into Riverside into a really nice condo in Canyon Crest, every time I m in riverside I go by there to see my apartment. It was  very interesting period in my life for self reflection.  I joined the Bally’s spa and fitness, I started jogging everyday  and I was not a huge jogger before hand, I learned to love it, I worked up to jogging 3 miles a day come home work out to Jane Fonda , and hit the gym for aerobics and weights 2 to 3 days week. I  lost over 20lbs, wasn’t on the weight management program any more, I  went from a size 14 to a size 10 in a matter of 4 months. I ate at  the same time everyday and that seemed to make the difference. Cut my fat out and stayed loyal to that as long as I could. I felt great at 133 lbs. 

     3 years later I had wanted a new car my ford Fairmont had been faithful for over 9 years,  I wanted something new  so I went and leased a 88 Mustang GT, I sure didn’t consider how much the cost of insurance would be, and the payments , along with the registration.  People are amazed when I tell them I paid 348 a month for 4 years and gave the car back rather than pay the residual. I had already paid the purchase price of the car I wasn’t going to pay twice that amount for the car.  I Met kids dad through a video dating site, called Southern California Connections that was located in Covina that December when we started dating.

      He was just out of  a very messy divorce, and recuperated from serious motorcycle accident in 1986, from nearly losing his left foot. He himself had been through a whirlwind of emotional trouble that I really didn’t pay much attention too. I just helped him get well.  He had been a  professional drummer before the accident, and was doing session work.  He also worked for DWP in LA when the accident occurred on his way to work. He had to start his life from scratch again when it came to work, he was one of those men it was no problem finding a great job, he was excellent at with his professional skills of talking to people.   He is a perfectionist when it comes to what he wants for himself.  He moved out to Riverside , I had been renting a room in a woman’s house when I met him.  When he moved to Riverside after he had his job started, I moved in with him.  He had put down the down payment on our home in Moreno Valley April of 1989, he didn’t really have credit to buy the home but I had over 10 years in the air force that helped him  qualify for the loan.

         We lived together for 2 years before we were married in Las Vegas.  We worked on the house almost every weekend if we didn’t have family to go see. We had a good balance between the two. I became pregnant with Cassie in September of 1990, I was on mobility for the air force,  The Persian Gulf War was starting up, and on September 14th, I went over to the hospital to have a blood test drawn  to find out for sure. When I was at work waiting for the call, the Mobility SSgt called and said to make sure my bags were packed because I was going to be leaving within a week for Saudi Arabia.

     I told him I was waiting to hear back from the hospital, and when they said the test was positive.  It was such a funny thing, that it happened on that day.  I would have gone to War, but then I had to remain home for medical reasons. It really paved the path for a co worker though. It ended up being the most rewarding assignment he had.  He  stayed in the Riyadh Hilton hotel and had a buffeted meal to eat everyday he was there and Lobster on Sundays. He worked very closely with General Schwarzkoph, and received a military decoration for his time there. I call it fate that he was meant to go. When you look at the outcome of the results of the war his role in it contributed to that.   

    What happened next really shattered my world. It truly broke my heart when my parents divorced after 37 years of marriage. Dad had disappeared no one knew where he was for a few weeks; I was pregnant with my daughter, with a very upset Mother at home whose world was turned upside down. As if things couldn’t get any worse, I was in the midst of planning my own wedding only to forgo to helping family as much I could, and ended up eloping with no family to share my day.

Life was great once dad contacted us; I focused on the family I was starting. I was safe and secure in the safety of my home that I was really enjoying the painting, stenciling, chair rail, gardening, designing the patio. We were very hands on family and had pride on our accomplishments that our home reflected for us.

Little did I know those 7 years later that my own marriage, was taking a trip to the Deep South. I lost my security, trust, and faith in my marriage that really set the wheels in motion for a very complex, complicated set of events that started with the kid’s dad. She had openly admitted at work that I had the perfect marriage; she was always asking people personal questions about their sex lives. She made it very clear she wanted my husband. I made it very clear after I had quite and left and she started a rumor at the hospital that they were having an affair a year later.

I had warned her before I left the hospital to stay clear of my family. I also reported her to my supervisor. I had 2 co workers call me from the hospital to tell me what she said. Her own marriage was failing and supposedly she used my husband to get rid of hers. She was a heavy drinker and so was he. I knew it was a lie. Or was it? My awareness of my surroundings was superb when it came to abnormal behavior in a relationship. A few weeks went by he was going fishing, and Cassie our daughter was always his fishing buddy, not on this day he refused to take her when she asked. Zach was just a baby still.

I knew he was up to something and loaded up the kids in the car and followed him. He ended up at the Motel 6 in Riverside, where he went into the office came out and drove towards the back of the hotel. She was waiting there in her car. He was talking to her when she was sitting her car. My Adrenalin was going strong. I parked the car, left it running, got out walked out and asked what the hell they were doing? The kid’s dad saw the anger in my face and he stepped back away from me and her car.

I proceeded to reinforce the fact that she was told to stay clear of my family. She was a

small woman about 100lbs, sitting in the driver seat of her car and if I had known that diamonds could really mess up a person’s face I probably would have thought twice not punching her so hard. I punched her face like a punching bag. I told her she had 5 minutes to clear the parking lot, and stay clear of my family. Needless to say her husband was on the phone asking me what they had happened and I told him the truth she was parked at the motel 6 talking to the kids dad that they were going to go fishing and he had lied I caught them both together. He basically agreed that she had gotten what was coming to her.

We had separated on Valentine’s Day 1998, when a spouse starts taking off on weekends with the only explanation that he felt he deserved time off. He was just coming home showering after work and out the door every weekend for the previous 3 months. It was supposed to be a temporary separation for 6 months.

Things only got worse when he decided to move in the next county. I wasn’t happy to learn that he had taken up a romantic relationship with a woman I worked with for almost 5 years at the hospital. She was living in the same county and instead of coming home, he moved in with her.

Here I was raising my kids, Cassie was only 7, and Zach had just turned 2. I did my best to be the stronger parent. I was far from perfect, He was still financially supporting us and we had just bought carpet Cleaning/repair/water damage and Flooring restoration business and bought out 2 more a short time later.

It was during these years I wondered where our marriage was going. I sure didn’t know. Leaving the home that my Children were born into was out of the question. I roamed in this state of mind for 2 years, waiting for him to file for divorce and it never happened. He never would acknowledge to us that he had a relationship going. He left us in Limbo and definitely didn’t want a divorce.

He had been trying to involve our 2 kids into our problems and I stopped letting him take the kids after I had found out that he lied to me where he was taking the kids, and told my 7-year-old daughter not to tell me anything. She did tell me 3 months later. I felt like such a failure. How could a Parent do that to their child and place them in that position.

Our relationship did have some verbal and physical abuse. I was fighting back to defend myself and the kids. The embezzling became worse, to support his relationship with the other woman. When I filed for divorce and served the papers he tried to tell me to take them back he was shocked that I would file. It was a period in my life that I didn’t feel safe, Moreno Valley, Ca where we lived was having a lot of crimes of Men attempting to kill their wives, and one man did succeed to drag his wife indoors from outside to finish her off and killed her. These crimes were all divorce related and really scared me.

Our fights had nearly escalated to that same level to where he threatened to kill me. It became a deep seeded fear for my life and I knew that I had to start thinking outside the box to get a handle on this situation for myself and my children. It became really difficult to shield the kids from what was transpiring between us.

My daughter was so depressed from the absence of her dad in the home she couldn’t function at school. It was taking her hours to complete her homework that normally only took 45 minutes. After some careful thought and consideration I thought it best to remove her from the home temporarily. I sent her to live with my dad and my fairly new Stepmom. I knew she was safe, and in good hands. My stepmom is a retired clinical psychologist. I don’t think I would have been able to find the strength on how to manage this situation without her guidance.

As we roll ahead to the year 2000, we had been fully self-employed for over a year. We had doubled our income the 1st year, only to have nothing to show as gain on our taxes from the embezzling he was doing, He had the only ATM card on the business account. I only had access to the checkbook. He would take what he needed out of the account without consideration of business expenses. It was really starting to financially affect us as a family and we fell behind on the mortgage and payments on the business we bought.

Business was booming, our huge apartment accounts were expanding into water damage and flooring. I had been out soliciting for more and more accounts and landed a huge account with all the Stride Rite shoe Stores in Southern California and Las Vegas Nevada. When the kid’s dad went to Vegas to clean one of their stores, I had made the hotel arrangements and called to have her answer the phone. I fight ensued due to he had been lying to both of us. She wouldn’t believe me when I told her we aren’t divorced. I even sent her a faxed copy of our business contract, to find that copy in our van a few weeks later with my name scratched off and hers written above in her handwriting.

It got to the point that he demanded that I write him a check for 300 dollars a week to work his own business. I hated that he even demanded that out of me but when I got the check returned with my statement the next month is when I learned he had a joint account with the woman. I was able to divert one debt with our previous bank, to her account with the same bank. She wasn’t happy when it happened. It wasn’t until a short time after that I realized that he had me under duress for the business income.

The Kids dad would only work 5 hours a day he would leave the job site at 3 everyday. It just added even more strain and suspicions that he was doing other work on the side in Orange County. I had found bits and pieces of paper written in her hand writing of addresses all over the place. Little did I know a short time later He was making arrangements to marry her?

After I filed divorce in Jan 2000, 4 months after buying the businesses, I had suspended the divorce that December in 2000. He finally did move back home but then the work van got repossessed January 2001 and we had a 60,000 lawsuit against us from the state of Utah. The stay at home was short-lived and he was back in Orange County with her. He had found a job over there and it was very rare that the kids saw him when he wasn’t working. I always traveled to Orange County so many times just so that my kids could see their dad. I didn’t want them to feel that it was their fault for him not being there. I just told them that you can’t force someone to be a father if they don’t want to be there. It was not our fault. He has allotted of the same issues he still doesn’t face today.

Months had passed, unfortunately in April we had to do the inevitable; we filed bankruptcy against the business April 2001. We were down to our Ford F-150 monster truck for transportation for the kids and me. The Transmission needed work and I was able to sell the truck, and my dad was gracious enough to find me a Taurus station wagon and bought it for me. September we signed a purchase agreement on our home, to avoid the foreclosure and save our mortgage credit. I called the moving company to come pack the house the end of September.

The kid’s dad was given all the information to come pick up his belongings from the house. He never even showed up, I packed everything on my own, and the movers took everything. We had been working on getting our marriage back on track, and he was offered a job in Santa Barbara for Service Master. I stayed with my mom in her home for a few weeks before I had money to cover the cost of my transportation and living arrangements at a hotel until he started his job.

a few weeks went by I’m living in, the Lompoc Inn, here in Lompoc, Ca for more than just a few months, He declined the job and the kids and I had been living in suitcases for nearly 5 months. He came up every Saturday playing the family man and would go back to Orange County where he was working.

He would never tell us where he was living, but I did notice after some time that he had a new wedding ring on his finger, and it wasn’t from our wedding. When I asked him about it he said he lost it working and bought a new one.

Red Flags were flying all over the place, by this time it is spring of 2002. He wouldn’t acknowledge any relationship with the woman he had obviously been living with, before I found out that he had declined the job we were out looking at homes to buy with a real estate agent several weekends.

For the past 4 years of being separated from the kid’s dad, we kept sexually active at least once a month. That was a decision that was decided when he initially moved out in 1998. I remained faithful up until right before we had to turn over the keys to the house. I was so depressed from losing my home and everything I had worked so hard to keep was being stripped out of my hands and there was nothing I could do to save it. I had gone out an evening and met someone and had sex with them once. Never saw him again after that.

It took me that long to figure out that there was nothing left of our marriage, He had let go of it a very long time ago, but denied me the closure, abandoned his family like It didn’t matter anymore. My 2 kids were so close to their dad it hurts me to live with this feeling of deep failure on a daily basis from his lack of being their father.

So in March of 2002 he is still playing the family man with us living in the hotel with Hoshi our Akita with us. He came up to celebrate Zachary’s 6th Birthday. After I took the kids to school, we went back to the hotel and he told me that he had a Vasectomy a few weeks prior. He said he had no plans of having anymore kids and that was the last day that we had consummated our marriage.

What happened a few weeks later, for a parent with her 2 kids and huge family dog living in a hotel room the privacy was really starting to get to me. My period was late, and I was more than sure it was stress related. So when a week more passed I did get the pregnancy test and took it when the kids were at school. That Line showed up and I was in disbelief. How could this happen, I was thinking did he lie about the Vasectomy? I had only had sex with him once a month since we moved from Moreno Valley.

After I picked up the kids, I had forgotten to throw the tests away in the trash outside and Cassie saw it. She had always wanted a baby sister more than anything. The only thing she wanted was her family together again, she would spend hours talking to Zachary and being the best sister she could be for him. Zachary would sit there and listen to her.

So 5 months turned into 13 months of living in hotels, after the rate hike at the Lompoc Inn we switched over to Motel 6, it was the only other place in town to have our dog with us. Almost my entire pregnancy with Loren was a totally separate experience in itself. Money was scarce, I happened to land a good part-time temporary Job as the beach patrol on Vandenberg AFB to protect the Western Snowy Plover nesting season.

There was a daycare for the kids when I needed to have them there during the week after school if I had to work. There were several days scattered throughout this period that we did sleep in the car and had no choice. My dad had even let me stay in the family RV in his airplane Hanger for a few weeks, and from there we would go back and forth from the base campground, or to River Park a city campground that allowed long-term. The closer I got to the pregnancy I started to really worry. I had started the child support case, and had applied for financial aid and food stamps. I couldn’t live on the little money that he was giving me. We did have to eat.

After my summer job was over with I focused on finding us a place to live, or attempted too. I had applied for temporary housing in a huge Yellow Old Victorian home called the Marks House, it was built-in 1895. It had 5 huge bedrooms that accommodated 3 to 4 families comfortably. We did share the huge upstairs bedroom with another woman and her son. Once a family moved out they moved downstairs to their own bedroom. I was very fortunate to be able to stay there for 6 months it gave me financial reprieve to save money for a place to rent and I got approved for my section 8 voucher like the previous month of leaving.

Loren was born December 12, 2002. My dad had driven me to the hospital early that morning to be induced and took the kids to school for me. I had been preparing myself mentally throughout the pregnancy to be delivering this son alone. My family, especially my sister wanted me to terminate the pregnancy; I just told her I wasn’t a teenager that I had a moral obligation to my family over anyone. I called the kids dad he was well aware the date that the Dr was inducing me. He never attended any of my checkups I was totally alone in this pregnancy.

So After I got settled into the OB ward and they gave me that pill to start the labor. It wasn’t long after that, when my mom surprised me and drove up from Moreno Valley. I had arranged an epidural, but it didn’t get used. I had one Stadol shot and that was it. Dr Huss raced over to the hospital from his office which was only 2 blocks away. He did this a lot in Lompoc being the only OB Gin Doctor in town. A very well liked physician in our community.

Loren was born at 11:30. Oddly Enough this blog basically started with my Parent’s Divorce but it was my pregnancy with Loren that brought us all together again. Mom and Dad had never talked since he left our house back in 1991, No one can tell me that time doesn’t heal wounds. It does. Loren’s Birth is a record of my parents finally able to have peace and share the joy with the birth of their last grandchild. With the Grace of God, The Love and support from my dad and stepmom who helped me so much during this phase of my life. We are truly blessed.

Life-Changing situations such as our families traumatized me. I considered us homeless for a year. I had to eat out most nights and it was costing me over 900 dollars a month just to maintain the 3 of us and the dog. Reality really set in when I was searching for a home, I had no rental credit, and I had mortgage credit with a new bankruptcy. I was Grateful that I found a private home to rent. A fairly small 1100st 3 bedroom 2 bath house with a great back yard for the dog.

My Taurus station wagon the transmission went out, and dad had gotten me a really cool 1970′s Chevy caprice station wagon. Loaded to the max, and Hoshi loved riding in the back, the back window rolled down so she could get some air driving. Only to have it blow a head gasket from the temp sensor going out. It sat in my driveway for months before I sent it over to the high school automotive program to see if they could fix it.

I asked the kids dad to buy me a new car and he wouldn’t. He did however shell out over 4k to get our household goods out of hock from the movers… they had been placed in storage for almost 2 years. I was really grateful to see Our Family China and antique china hutch again. I had paid Cash for most of our furniture and all of our personal belongings I actually didn’t think I could get them back.

As usual the kid’s dad was still playing the father role and coming up here every Saturday and leaving that afternoon. My mom however after everything I have been through did a little digging and mailed me what she found. When I got it in the mail it was a Marriage Certificate issued to Him and the Other Woman. He married her back on Mar 24, 2001. Three weeks before filing bankruptcy on our business and the kids and I were still living in our home. So now we have Bigamy worked into this equation.

Bigamy is a felony. Even though it is a crime, it is not punishable in the criminal courts, just the civil courts. I got so nauseated at the site of looking at their certificate. I worried about how heartbroken the kids were going to be when they found out. Cassie was so furious with her dad over this. The hurt in her face was enough for me to finally put my foot down and face my fears. I was here in Lompoc; enough time had gone by to finally reactivate our divorce filed down in Riverside. How could a man sleep at night for 2 years knowing that he was never divorced from his previous wife?

My child support case had been issued; I had an order for 1273 a month for all 3 kids that took effect immediately. He wasn’t really voluntarily paying his full support. He was short 273 a month… That ended up later on that year 400 dollars. Child support services started the procedures to enforce the support payments.

Frankly I don’t understand how our Justice system could have their clients wait several months without a payment. I was forced back onto Cash aide. I had the SSI application in for Zachary. The health insurance kept changing and I never got informed so there were several dry pats for the kids that didn’t get paid due to no one contacting me or having any updated cards received on my end.

That fall I enrolled at the college and my dad gave me his big 1990 f350 crew cab to use. It used a lot of gas. I did however use the Bike Trailer and my bike, and the kid’s bikes that were our mode of transportation for at least 6 months of Loren’s life. It was only 4.5 miles each direction of town, the city bus was also our transportation for a while.

Allan Hancock College in Lompoc really invigorated my senses; it was also right next to Ken Adam Park. The Huge Oak Trees surrounding the campus has a calming effect on me. The Santa Maria Campus is mostly all buildings making this campus very unique. I amazed myself the 1st semester I had qualified for the Pell grant and had received my very 1st 4.0 in algebra, and aced World History classes. I had done Pundits involving the Enron disaster, and during the Recall of Governor Gray Davis.

The Enron Disaster really infuriated me. Back in 1981/82 I helped my mom and dad purchase a parcel of property over in Tehachapi, California close to my brother’s home it was going to be their retirement home. I was stationed over in the Azores for 27 months when just a month after purchasing the property someone was offering mom and dad double of what we paid, they went as high as 4 times higher what we paid. Dad did some searching to find out that Zond Systems out of San Diego was building a huge Wind Park surrounding our parcel which had the highest peaks in the range.

Dad got the idea to write a program using a commodore Vic 20, and used the Commodore 64 to run the program underground in a cooler hooked up to a car battery that was hooked up to a sensor dad attached to the top of the ham radio tower that he erected on the property to conduct our own wind tests. My brother faithfully went out and collected the data and recharged the batteries for a year. Dad had formed a small family corporation, with our charter in the State of NJ. It was free to incorporate there. We signed a 35 year lease with Zond for lease of the property, receiving royalties of 6 percent. During those initial years it started bringing in a 6 figure income for my parents for their retirement. I was receiving 1/8 interest payments during those years for helping mom and dad buy the property.

It is what paid for my Furniture I still have to date most of it. It also paid for the labor on building our back patio cover, BBQ, flagstone with a brick border back patio. We did as much work as we could on our own.

The kid’s dad actually got hired to build a few of the neighbor’s patio covers, because he did such an excellent job on ours. He was using the radial arm saw that my dad used to build our barn back in 1963. Dad always said that Sears has the best tools anywhere.

Enron had bought out Zond Systems and assumed our lease agreement in 1994. When the Rolling Black-outs started in 1997, I was having to work allot of hours at the hospital still. On call every night. The Deregulation of the utilities had decreased our royally income to fewer than 50k a year. It was revealed in the research I conducted for my pundit that year, that Kenneth Lay, and Dick Cheney had spearheaded the lead on deregulating the utility for their benefit.

It was revealed that they had ripped off California in excess of 1 Billion dollars by jacking up the cost of energy so high it went over 375 a kilowatt. They had actually went as far to force the state to have rolling blackouts, and caused it all. Their Stock Value was overly inflated from all the back room dealings with Jeffery Skilling , and the Fastows.

It was later revealed that the Fastows had been siphoning the money from the Tehachapi wind park to fund the building of their mansion in Texas. Dad had spent a few years writing to the Attorney’s in NY about our lease agreement and never got a response. As of this date I don’t think they ever paid the debt. Florida Power and Electric took over the lease.

It just amazed me how one global company building power plants in India could have demolished so many lives of Americans and not arrested for it. I don’t like White Collar Crime because their rights are protected by the federal judicial system and not the State. The thousands of lives that Enron affected numbered in the thousands, if not millions.

Getting back to 2003, I had all this penned up energy from what had transpired with the kid’s dad. I ended up writing a letter to her employer about the fraud that she was committing with the kids dad. She had known for years that we were never divorced. How she was depositing business money from our business into her personal account.

She personally attempted to defraud others by crossing out my name and placing hers on the copy of our business agreement. I sent copies of everything I had to support what I was claiming. Including the notes she had written for making wedding arrangements that actually had their social security numbers on them.

She had added my kids onto her health plan which is fraud in itself. My kids did not reside with her. She worked as a collector for Tennant Healthcare in Santa Ana. It was then that I informed her that our sexual life was still be consummated in our marriage and Loren our youngest son was evidence of that.

I had always thought to myself that Karma always comes back at you if you do miss deeds to others. That time was now in 2003, 5 years later. I also informed her that our child support order was 1273 a month not 1000. I had sent copies of our marriage certificates, a copy of the police report I filed in Law Vegas for the Bigamy, and it is a Felony in the penal code just handled under civil law these days unless it’s an extreme case of financial loss.

I never could understand that part of it, Because of the life choices these 2 people made; we lost our home the only investment we had together. I was left homeless living in hotels pregnant with my youngest son and family dog, defrauded thousands of at least 75k. None of that mattered to the legal system.

From that point on I moved forward the best I could. I kept the communication channels open for the kid’s dad because it was the right thing to do for them. A few short months later, The Kids dad was contesting Loren our youngest, as being his son. The DA was very good presenting the case. They were my best advocate and I started to grasp on to the idea that this was the way of getting me back on track. We got into court and it was noted that the Kids Dad had an attorneys information on his legal papers, but he never showed up with an attorney just himself. The Courts were not happy with that and reprimanded him verbally for it.

He attempted to submit a copy of infertility from his Vasectomy, only to be told that parentage is always established with DNA sampling. The courts set up the test dates for Loren and Him. Loren had his sample taken; they had set up 2 pats for the kid’s dad for him not to show up at all. He defaulted on his own Child Support Motion.

I started receiving regular payments from his employer once a month. The health insurance they left the responsibility to the dad to get the cards to me. That didn’t work at all for months, I had to call the employer, and Child Support whenever I had problems. The employer had switched healthcare companies at least 3 times in 2 or less years that that they had been garnishing his wages. I had several medical bills from the kids that went unpaid because I couldn’t furnish a healthcare card for them.

In 2004 it became a bad year to keep focus at the college. After living downtown a year I had to move after my lease was up. My landlord wanted to rent to a personal friend to help them out. I was very fortunate to find a bigger house here in Mission Hills where I’m Currently Living today. This home is just around the corner from where I’m at now.

I loved it, had a huge family room, plenty of storage, 3 Brims, 2 Bathrooms. Living/Dining and cinderblock wall back yard. I didn’t have to worry about the dog getting out killing the neighbors cats. There was Mesa Oaks homeowners association has a few hundred acres of walking, biking jogging trails just across the street. I would take Loren for walks there all the time. Let him get some exploring in. we always saw quall and rabbits, and an occasional coyote.

Always hear owls in the mornings here. La Purism Mission which covers over 1000 acres is just 2 blocks from our door. There is so many hiking, biking, riding trails we 3 miles from town, living with the wild life and horses that belong to the residents here that live across the street from the mission.

I had started Cassie in 4H back in 2002. She did a dairy calf her 1st year. She had never been around farm animals before we moved here. I was so proud of her that year. She handled that heifer calf like a Pro. Zachary was always so round up and so much energy he couldn’t stay in one place long.  The Consecutive years with 4H really gave Cassie some personal growth the Club here is the largest in the County. The Community leaders have been the same leaders for the past 30 plus years.

They also became part of our family for supporting Cassie when I couldn’t be there. Zachary could never behave long enough to relax, or Loren would start in. Cassie completed 7 years in 4H, her 2-5 years she did market lambs, 2-7 years she did horsemanship.

She also became the Club Secretary for 3 years. Most of her 4H functions it became very rare for me to attend. If I did it was very short-lived. The boy’s behavior was too much for me to handle. I was just as happy that this Club reminded me so much growing up in Nipomo. Those other Mother’s I recognized and thanked on My Mother’s day blog.

Cassie became the horseman I always wished I had become earlier in my life. She loved it. Her last 3 years she went to the Santa Barbara County Horse show and placed in the top 3 in most of her classes. In 2007, I had made a mistake about not getting her fees paid in time and she missed that one year but in 2008. She was the only club member going that year and she won all but one of the 6 classes she entered and came home with High Point overall. She won her very 1st Buckle. I was so proud of her that day.

Right after I had moved up to Mission Hills my mom had her double bypass surgery down in Cottage Hospital. She stayed with me for 6 weeks. She was still living down in Moreno Valley. My sister and I had noticed that she was getting older and not able to do as much her sciatic nerve problem had scar tissue built up and needed surgery again, but unfortunately to her diabetes nothing can be done unless it drops down.

Finally SSI kicked in for Zachary. My Child support payments of 1000 a month was getting ridiculous. I was on Food Stamps just to feed the family, and Navigating the local/state forms for maintaining your benefits is very time consuming, and Redundant. Why so much of the same forms for the same agency just different departments. It just didn’t make sense to me, having to send all 3 state agencies copies of my bank statements. If you missed anything there went your benefits you couldn’t get them back unless you fixed the problem. I have been mastering those forms for years, now, I learned from my 1st year. If you just give them the paperwork without a receipt, paperwork would end up lost without a doubt. I started asking for receipts of everything I gave them and once I did that all the lost documents stopped.

Zachary’s SSI couldn’t have come at a better time. I was finally able to buy a working reliable car. 2900 got me a 1990 Vovlo 740GL with 198,000 miles on it. 2900 dollars I thought was high but I had never driven a Volvo before and now I know why they retain their value. The engines on the cars in those years were virtually indestructible. They only required a tune-up once every 3 years, I did have to have the transmission serviced, but otherwise the car had power everything, except the moon roof. The Kids never liked this car. After I had tires replaced we lost the hubcaps on the highway somewhere. I had left the car overnight to get worked on, and with the price of gas over $5 a gallon it was costing me 75 dollars to fill my car.

I reduced my traveling to a standstill during those months I still had auto insurance to pay, and kids to cloth and feed. Having a child in High School really drained me with the high cost for yearbooks costing 75 dollars. Supplies not covered for specific classes. Choir Dress, My daughter was taking Violin in middle school and throughout High School. She lettered her freshman year. Not so Lucky girl. I couldn’t afford her lettermen Jacket; it was way over 300 dollars.

Once I had Zach established in his new school just over a mile from home he was in the 3rd grade. In-between the pediatrician, myself, and the school trying to help Zach with organization, doing his homework, and because of enlarged intestine condition I was working with the pediatrician to get that under control. I just felt that if he got him over this hurdle then the rest would fall into place for him.

Zach was very strong willed He could not focus for homework and didn’t participate in class. He had been receiving speech therapy, but by the next school year he didn’t qualify for the program. When my Stepmom had come to visit us one afternoon after School she had brought her friend who was still a practicing clinical psychologist in the state of Nevada. The Behaviors that Zach was exhibiting the hand flapping, laying on a sofa twisted, and his motor skills very lethargic the way he moved. It was very clear to me that Zach was not able to process what was being presented to him in school, particularly Math, the others courses suffered as from his inability to succeed in the classroom environment.

The pediatrician had diagnosed Zach with Severe ADHD, He was started on the Medication Ritalin, and a few short months later Concerta. The success in the class room didn’t change. At his IEP they suggested that he repeat the 3rd Grade and I agreed. I was a 3rd Grade repeat myself for the same thing, for not keeping up. What I didn’t agree with was that he was placed back in the same classroom with the same teacher. I figured if she couldn’t motivate Zach the previous year, how was she going to be successful the next. For mainstream kids it works better. I had the School test Zach for Autism and Asperser’s spectrum disorders to be told no he doesn’t qualify. His IQ scores were border-line.

This is what really infuriated me, the pediatrician, the School, gave me no guidance on how to get help for Zach. We were in Limbo. Zach was having a huge problem sleeping at nights and staying awake till 3 am and he was falling asleep at school on a daily basis. In-between being late for school and the numerous unexcused tardies, I was summoned in front of the School Board. I had Loren in Tow with me as I stood in front of this board along with the same DA that defended us in our child support case. It was very difficult to explain what was going on in my home for Zachary not being able to be school on time. They had us sign a contract to be in bed at 8 and gave us the consequences if he was late again. I only had one option and that was to remove him from the medication.

Zach and fulfilled our contract agreement and getting him to school on time was not near the issue the following year. When Zach had started the 4th grade it had only been a few weeks. My dad had spent allot of time with Zach at the airports museums; take him golfing, Flying trips up to Nevada in my dad’s apache. I would notice a calm cool collected kid coming home all the time from their time spent together.

The child support which at this time wasn’t garnished had stopped. I had received notice to move that my landlord was moving back into the house and had to be out by the end of July 2005. It couldn’t have happened at worse time. My daughter had her market lamb going to fair in less than a week and there was no way I could afford to camp at the fairgrounds that year with her. I had made arrangements to Camp with another 4H family, so she could be there to do her barn duty and feed her lamb in the mornings and evenings.

When I established the child support case I had them leave the case open, due to the fact that his reliability was not that great. From that year on it was garnished from his employer, and as usual the health plan changed again and cards were not received. I had racked up at least 1000 dollars in healthcare that was irretrievable because I didn’t have the correct cards and found out that the doctor’s office 3 months later that the claims were denied for no coverage.

Cassie at the fair that year, had gotten depressed over peer pressure, she had actually confined herself one day and was texting for hours to her friends and had run up a 1200 cell phone bill. Of course the phone was taken from her and the money she made on her lamb that year just over 750 dollars went to pay her bill. She was not happy about being held accountable but she was 14 she knew better than that. Her depression was over me not being able to be there for her, having to remain home with her brothers she started really resenting having them around. We had our Sunday ritual where I would get up and all three kids would be helping me straighten up the house. The boys always had VHS tapes all over the place and didn’t put them back and Cassie was a good task person to teach Zach for that.

Fall of that year when School Started Cassie was entering her sophomore year. Everything was going fine, Other than having to drive her to 4H meetings and project meetings. It was sometime on October that year in 2005, I had received a phone call from her best friends mom. There had been an incident at School that Cassie didn’t tell me about that really concerned me about what the High School was doing to handle this situation. She told me that the 3 girls had gotten on the bus to come home 4 days ago, and another Student had threatened to Blow all 3 girls away with a shotgun. The school had taken reports from all three girls and the Sherriff’s department had interviewed and questioned my daughter without my presence.

The only question going through my mind was isn’t this against her civil rights since she is a minor. It infuriated me that the school never even called me. Evidently this student that threatened them he felt he was being bullied or picked on. His parents did have weapons in the home and the Sherriff’s office just enforced that there were trigger locks on the guns. The kid was suspended from School that week, but because he had threatened to kill the girls he was suppose to have expelled from school. That didn’t happen.

I had called the school, and complained to the Sherriff’s department internal investigations at the Santa Barbara Office. I had written a formal complaint to the School and gave them the information for Rachel’s Challenge and insisted they have their organization out at the School ASAP. I came to find out later that the Sherriff’s office dropped 2 of the girl’s statements and kept just one. I viewed that as protecting the defendant in this case. How could a law enforcement and parole office do that to the public at a High School with just under 1000 students? I was told that when a crime of that magnitude happens on a school bus that student no longer can ride the bus; He was riding the bus a week later.

I really wanted to go the press with this issue but the other Moms were not fully on board. I wanted more awareness throughout our community of what was happening here. Rachel’s Challenge did come. I was satisfied with the school stepping up to having at the school. I was prepared to write my local or state senator about this issue. I don’t like when public schools take the view that Ignorance is Bliss what you don’t know what your kids are exposed too.

Cassie’s junior year, was just as bad as the previous year. I really worried about her. She came home from spending one weekend with her best friend from school. She said that there was a girl at school openly admits that she is bipolar; she was the assistant coach for the boy’s basketball team. Cassie’s friend said that this girl had created a list of 32 people that she wanted dead. She had seen the list and my daughter’s name on it Friday, told Cassie about it on Saturday. She said there were 4 or 5 teacher’s names on this list as well. I was so infuriated with her best friend over this. She didn’t report it to the school, Monday was a holiday both girls went into the office Tuesday morning and reported her.

This Girl had been blogging about the incident on her MySpace page; she was Air Force dependent from Vandenberg AFB. I had printed off the pages to her profile on what was written on them. Cassie had said that she didn’t know that this girl didn’t like her; she had always been nice to her. She was really scared. I got in touch with the Security Police on the base over this, because she had been using her MySpace page to communicate threatening behavior of suicide on herself. I took the step up to call the OSI office to file the complaint with them to investigate. Cassie had written her statement out and we gave them copies. Once it was reported to the school she was suspended of course for a week, and actually admitted into a hospital for psychiatric evaluation.

All that week at school, the girl was on her cell phone texting and threatening kids at school.  Once this girl returned to School she started targeting my daughter and insisting that she stay away from her. Over time the badgering didn’t stop. I had started receiving a couple of phone calls from school that Cassie had missed a few classes. One Day she didn’t show up at school at all at least 2 days. She hid in her closet here at home and didn’t come out. I started panicking that she had run away and trying to get hold of her friends. Cassie was always up in the mornings getting up and off to school she loved school. I was totally shocked that she was so quiet those 2 mornings that I was too preoccupied with my own health issues and the boys to know that she didn’t leave for school for those days.

I called up her doctor, we got her into therapy and I filed another complaint with the School. I told them that if this girl doesn’t stay clear of my daughter that I was going to file a restraining order with the Sheriff’s office and report her to the Base Commander.

During that year Loren had started his intervention, I had enrolled him initially into the Head Start program down at La Honda, near LUSD buildings, he was 3.5 yrs old and they agreed that he needed to start intervention so they assessed his speech. Loren was being observed and he couldn’t focus or understand what was being asked of him. The Speech Therapists told me it was equivalent to listening to the teacher on the Peanuts Cartoons. Wah Wah. They would only let Loren stay in this program 1 hour of the 3 hour program. I thought it was ridiculous to have him there for that hour but he needed to be with his peers. He had been home with me since birth. Loren’s development I knew something was totally different with him from his birth. He focused on my every move, and as he aged his ability to handle his emotions and behavior had gotten worse. Meltdowns on the floor removing his clothes and socks were an everyday occurrence.  It would take him over 45 minutes to able to adapt back to and interact with me again. I did however learn that if you gave him more than 2 choices, he would follow task of which you asked him and pick one. When Sojourn Services Inc was referred to us to work with Loren at home to overcome his sensory integration worked and he was able to keep his meltdowns down to about 15 minutes. He turned 5 finished his program with Sojourn and then I had taken his assessment to Tri Counties.

Tri-Counties started services with Loren with Loren after he had his initial full assessment when he and Zach were enrolled at Manzanita Charter School, had just started operating that year, with the Space Endeavor Center as support for the kids extracurricular actives. Space Cowboy Aka Scott Hollister is excellent with kids, He has every autograph you can think of every NASA test pilot or Astronaut on his cowboy hat.

I had removed Zach from Los Berros School after 5th grade due to the fact that the School was not helping him. They were watching out for their interest and my son’s education deserved professional help. He was well loved by everyone at the school, just a very cool collected kid who thrived on the right guidance from adults. Just before Zachary started the 4th Grade in 2006, He went with my dad for 5 days on a plane trip up to the Property in Nevada, and over to Eureka to see my aunt and uncle and other cousins. School Started and the Morning of the 8th of September. Dad had called me He had just replaced the brakes on my car the previous week. He was getting ready to fly over to Lake Isabella to meet some friends for Camping. He was waiting for the cloud cover to clear before he could take off. I told him to have a Safe Flight and Have fun. Thanked him for doing my brakes.

Later on late that afternoon my sister called me to call her back. I was in the middle of cooking Dinner for the kids. When I called her a short while later I could tell something was wrong. She said that Dad Crashed in his plane on the Bognuda Ranch, 1 mile from her home and 3 miles fm the Airport at approx 2:30 in the afternoon, they said that he was airborne for 7 minutes before the crash and he should have cleared the airport pattern long before that. I was in shock and disbelief for a while.

I couldn’t finish dinner. My mind I didn’t know how to tell the kids. I didn’t want to believe it. Dad was always so healthy for 74 yr old. He was always cautious. The Whole family was totally devastated especially my stepmom. I hated to have to tell Zach, he was the last person to fly with dad. I did tell them and they were numb as I was to process what I told them. I later found out when I got to my sister’s house, that my brother was on his way to Lake Isabella to meet my dad over there for the camping trip.

His crash was all over the News Media. The ranch he crashed on Mr. Bognuda had a hanger next to dads at the airport; dad was pretty well known in the Santa Maria, Paso Robles, and San Luis Obispo Airports. He flew kids for their 1st plane ride for the EAA Young Eagle programs over the weekends. He loved it. He was very involved with the Air Museum in Paso Robles. His memorial service was totally amazing, and beautiful. My brother, sister and I spoke, and it was the 1st time that I actually felt comfortable talking about dad as a father that so many people didn’t get to see that side of him. Mostly everyone at the service was from Lockheed. Along with all of our extended families in Nipomo were there too.

That year I worried about Zach, he wasn’t showing much emotion about the loss of his grandfather and School went on. I told my kids that Grandpa died doing what he loved the most and he was watching over us in heaven now. Every time that I had to guess how much gas was in my car, my gauge was broken, when my car would start to stall I knew I had to get downtown to get gas, I had about 1/2 gallon left.

The high price of gas was wearing on my family. It was taking 75 dollars just to fill my car. I needed money for groceries to feed the kids. Whenever I made it to the gas station without having to call AAA, I would always pray and say thanks dad. Dad gets thanked allot when it comes to my car and maintenance. It was his other passion in life.

Later on in 2007,  mom needed more surgery, She had her gall bladder removed and was released from the hospital the next morning. She did really well having surgery. I drove her home back to Moreno Valley and drove back to Lompoc the next morning. I don’t think 3 Months  passed and Mom started having problems swallowing her food . She had gone to the doctor and they did a biopsy of her throat but no one called her back after she made several phone calls to see the doctor with the results. She waited as long as she could before it became too hard for her to eat. She drove up to Santa Barbara to the Emergency Room, I met her there and they confirmed within a day she had thyroid cancer. They admitted her to the hospital and she had her 1st chemo  treatment before she was discharged a few days later. We had lost all faith in the healthcare system down in Riverside and Moreno Valley. It was too difficult for Terry and me to help her manage her health when she lived that far away. We decided to have mom move back here closer to us so that we could help her maintain somewhat of her independent lifestyle with  her family close by to help her.  My sister and I took turns on going down and sorting out her belongings in the garage and setting up an estate sale to pay for her move back to Santa Maria.

     The Mortgage Industry was turning upside down,  Mom was not able to maintain a home of that size on her own anymore.  She gave the house back to the Mortgage company, They told her to drain the pool and she refused to avoid having  the pool ruined.   We got Mom through all of her chemo treatments with the exception of her radiation treatment she was suppose to have down in Riverside. Mom had developed an infection and they couldn’t find it for 2 weeks. It ended up being pneumonia, and by the time they got her well it was too late to have the radiation treatment.

     Zach on the other hand did better in the 4th grade. He had a excellent teacher that actually got him motivated to participate in class, and do more work in class, he had managed to turn two F’s into A’s in that reporting period. I knew from that day that he was going to be ok. Loren on the other hand had started up his intervention with CaliforniaPyschCare through Tri-Counties. He has progressed so much since they started working with him in Kindergarten.

When Loren’s assessment was completed, the charter school didn’t provide schooling for special needs kids. The school was advised the school to get an assistant in the class room to help manage Loren. The Schools solution was to have me remain there with Loren in the class room. It was getting hard to keep him engaged with the other students. He was starting to get violent, throwing chairs, running out of the class room, it didn’t help the situation when there were a few other kids who were modeling just as bad behavior, and always getting into Loren’s face they had no sense of personal space.

Loren always picked up what behavior was being modeled. There was one day towards the date of his IEP meeting that the Principal decided to come into the class room, Loren wasn’t engaged on the carpet with the rest of the kids, and she told me he had to leave. Loren on the other hand got up and went over to carpet and started engaging with the other kids. She then insisted he leave the class room, got him upset, to where he started throwing chairs down and ran out of the classroom. He didn’t want to leave.

By the time I got out the door he was gone around the corner and came back into the class room and sat back down on the carpet with the other kids. She looked at me told me that she was Notifying Child Welfare Services, and I just replied go ahead do that, they were my best Advocates. They had been to my house several times from complaints of neighbors for his behavior around Zach.

Zach didn’t model good behavior, so Loren is always reacting to it negatively. I was so proud of Loren that day for standing up for where he wanted to be. It just emphasized that he wants to be there, he just didn’t know how to process the information that was be given to him. After his IEP it was recommended that he be assigned back to Los Berros School, where they held the best SDC, for kids with Autism in the entire School district. Then they started assessing Zach all over again. The School District was hurting they had lost allot of students to this charter school opening. They were desperate to get students back enrolled in the district. Zach was in a 6th grade class with 20 other students. Amazing year he maintained a C average, and at his IEP Lord and behold, they discovered he had a processing disorder with math. They told me it would be nearly impossible for him to memorize his timetables. Which is why he was held back in third grade? I kept him at the Charter School for the remainder of the year. It was the 1st time that he had ever had confidence in the classroom. He still had that habit of not doing homework but he was doing way more work inside the classroom. His grades maintained a C average. His class field trip that spring took them to Calvin Crest Outdoor School over near Yosemite National Park for a week. He had a blast over there. Everyone at school was so amazed at his engagement into the class work there.

Zach wasn’t home for 4 days and he started complaining about a headache. The day before he said he felt he had a fever but he was cool as a cucumber. I have given him Nyquil to get to sleep, and the headache came back. He said that he felt like he had the flu. I took him to the Doctor that morning to get him checked; she seemed to think he was coming down with the flu too. Later on that night after the headache was still there that Zach gave me more clarification of this headache he was feeling. Mom he said, “You don’t inkstand this headache is not just a headache it moves around to other areas of my head.” It was very late at night; I waited till the next morning and took him to the Emergency Room.

When they triaged Zach and got him into a bed in the ER, they thought that his headache may be a Migraine headache. They took a CBC test of his blood to find out that it showed infection. They weren’t sure where it came from, so they ordered a spinal tap to find out if him Had Meningitis. Zach was poked 11 times that day. They had a hard time finding his veins for the IV. He did have Viral Meningitis and kept overnight in the hospital till the next day. I notified the school the next day. I made arrangements for Loren to stay at my mom’s for the next 5 days. Zach had to have complete quiet, No TV, No Computer to recover. It was a well needed break for all of us. After completing the 6th Grade with success he was re enrolled at Vandenberg Middle School for 7th Grade. They had him in one resource class a day to catch up on all his classes. He reverted back to the same behavior as before. Wouldn’t Do his homework, little class participation A friend of Zach’s from 5th grade convinced him to join the youth football league that fall after 5th grade.

His coaches really thought he wasn’t going to make it through practice and give up but he didn’t. He stuck with it. He had never been involved with a physical sport before. He loved it that 1st year in J2. He played Nose guard and left tackle. They did make it pretty high in the playoffs that year, The Coaches really knew how to keep Zach engaged and they had strict rules for the sport. The Next year he moved up to seniors along with his teammates from the previous year. They had 5 shutout games, and undefeated and did go to super bowl. They were division Champions but lost the game. Coach told them they did achieve their goal. It was an amazing year for Zach. I was so proud of him and I knew grandpa was watching too, huge football fans in this family.

The School was not that happy to see Zach in football with his grades suffering. Dr. Carter said the running and the physical fitness of the sport was very good to keep kids focused at school and she was right. Zach was motivated to get some homework done during the football season. After both boys had their assessments I had them referred to Dr. Sabrina U. Carter who was specialist in childhood neurological disorders and Learning disabilities of the brain, she is licensed in Child Psychology along with her medical degree.

Her Doctorate Degrees are astounding. I’m very blessed to have her she really goes to bat for her patients when it comes to their education. She is the only Neurologist in the County that prescribes name brand drugs, because she has had patients have seizures from generic drugs. My sons included. They both have Absent Epilepsy and take Depakote. When Zach was discovered he I worried about that because he was diagnosed at age 12. I wasn’t sure if he could overcome the condition at his age. It was Dr. Carter who informed me that ADHD drugs Intensified Seizures. I was so furious with the pediatrician for not ruling out any neurological disorders before placing Zach on the Ritalin and Concerta back in 2nd and 3rd Grade.

Zach pretty much struggled through 7th grade. it was a year ago this month that the Bus Driver had dropped Zach off at the front door and I thought that was very peculiar, I asked him about it when he came inside and he said that one of his football team mates wanted to fight him. Zach said he told him he wasn’t fighting him. Zach outweighed this kid by at least 50 to 60 lbs.

I sent Zach back out to mow the lawn when he got home and I was inside the house with a sales rep who was explaining the process of Reverse Osmosis in water. Zach came stumbling into the house clenching his jaw. Once he calmed down, he told me that this team mate followed the bus to our house; he hid behind the neighbor’s cinderblock wall, and had at least 5 other kids recording the incident on their phones.

This Team mate was a novice Champion at wrestling. He was attempting to take Zach down with wrestling techniques and it didn’t work. He failed at 2 attempts. He got up into Zach’s face and sucker punched him in the Jaw and ran off. I called the Sherriff; this kid had been in trouble with his 2 brothers for a long time. They had been shooting at my friend’s horses and other animals on her property.

I called the School the next morning, told them I was taking Zach to the doctor his jaw didn’t feel right. They suspended the other kid for a week. The Case is going to the DA for this kid is going to be charged with Battery. We saw the dry that practices acupressure/Acupuncture. We met this doctor in the ER he treated Zach for his pain for the Meningitis. Zach was a trooper no pain pills at all. He listened very carefully to the dry about the acupressure. He really likes this form of treatment over anything.

Zach is getting tired of the depakote, he feels he isn’t having seizures anymore. We discussed it with Dr. Carter and he is going to have an EEG this august, if it comes out good, we are weaning him off the medication to see how he does.

I had been having  problems with Zach taking his meds. When he went to spend a week with his dad over his spring break, they went to the Graveside of the other woman’s son. He had suffered from a gran mal seizure at age 13, and was on medication for his epilepsy disorder. It was unfortunate that at age 22 he stopped taking his medications and she came home from work and found him dead.

Zach was still have difficulties here at home, he is stepping up to the plate to exhibit adult authority and help me with Loren. Problem is Loren is still modeling bad behavior with Zach. Loren doesn’t like the fact that he is 8 and Zach is 15, there are certain things that 8 year olds are not allowed to do. It is hard when you don’t have reinforcement in a home with kids who suffer from Autism or other special needs.

It makes a huge difference in kids if they have two adult parents to manage them. My kids have always been taught that Single parenting is not normal, two parent household is. They are very aware that their dad’s absence in their life is a clear sign of how tough it is for me parenting them alone. I’ll be the 1st one to tell you that I’m not perfect, I’m not supermom either, like I used to be. We live in the face of adversity every day. We keep faith, hope, and love in our hearts and move on. There is allot of things that aren’t kept up in my household.

To me retaining your sanity and taking care of yourself emotionally is key to getting through all the adversity in your life. I’m just looking forward to what God and life is bringing me next. I still remember that my stepmom told me that God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. I firmly believe that too. I became involved in Primerica Financial Solutions back in 2005. The Company is phenomenal for the support it gives its single parents and very enriching. Unfortunately when the boys started their intervention I had to place my focus on them. I had Child Welfare Services involved with my household a few times, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I live by example for my children the best I can. I place myself in timeout when I need a break from the boys, it is getting tough again with the price of Gas over 4 dollars a gallon here. It makes it tough when you have business to conduct in another local city but the cost of gas consumption to go do those are costing people money they would rather feed their kids with.

I don’t have dental, or eye insurance. The state can’t afford the coverage anymore. Last August my car broke down 4 months in a row costing me 1200 dollars, I just got my new car last month. It feels great to have reliability in a car again. With my health issues I should be at the gym every day, I had been paying a trainer at the gym along with my gym fees and the car problems set me back. I’m working on getting myself back on track and ahead of the game. My family doesn’t like to see me living this way, Neither do I. I love my children. They deserve anything I can give them. My wisdom means that much to pass on to them.

I didn’t join face book till a few years ago, and when I did I found all my old military, extended family, high school and some elementary school friends. It took me a while to get used to it the ideas and concepts of social media. I was against it based on the commercialization of the technology age. The World is evolving from everything we put into it. That why when I Met Kennan Hudaverdi online and he introduced me to Saving lives to me it made total sense. He made me the U. S. Representative which I was totally honored to promote his ideas of using Affirmations in the class rooms. We need God in our schools , it was what this country was founded on.  The use of Affirmations  in the classrooms works it works for me outside and is widely used in Primerica.  

     I know that the last few years of my dad’s life had impacted him to see me living this way. I didn’t give up. I have his strength in my genes to keep fighting and progressing to getting my life back on track.  I didn’t find out till last year when I went to a memorial for a very close family friend, his Son pulled me to the Side to tell me that Dad was very proud of me . He had told him that I had my life back together.  I remember the last birthday lunch I had with dad  and my stepmom  a few weeks before the crash.  We went to a local Italian restaurant and I was full of excitement from learning and staying involved in Primerica.  My family was very skeptical about what I was getting involved with because of the multi level marketing  aspect of the company. I would rather be associated with a company that has thousands of representatives that make 6 figures than one that employs thousands for minimum wage.  I was really excited and learning everything I could and improving my knowledge in the Financial Services Industry. Primerica is my 2nd family and always will be because they are helping people in the middle class and below through Education.

Sherry’s Story

I got asked for my story yesterday by Dr. Dale Archer. My writing process is a bit rusty but here it goes.

I can remember memories back to the age of 2, living in Long Beach, Ca. Mostly of my great Grandfather on my mom’s side  in his wheelchair. I was very aware of my surroundings, my mom, my brother, and sister. Mom told me i didnt talk till the age of 3. We moved to a small Town Nipomo, California up on the mesa with hundreds if not thousands of acres behind our house. We had a beautiful view of Santa Maria from our back porch. I loved it there. I’m the youngest of 3 siblings, all born in exactly 3 years. My brother the oldest had received me as a gift for his 3rd birthday. I’m not sure how he felt about me on that day I never asked him. He kept to himself alot and read alot.

       By the time i reached the age of 3 mom and dad had gotten us horses, Brownie for us kids, he was a  mustang gelding that stood 16 hands. He was a foal of moms mare trixie her horse she had at age 16 and older. I loved Moms saddle. Dad had built a huge Barn with Dutch Doors, 3 huge stalls, haybarn, tackroom, breezway. Everyone thought he was building another house. We were baptized by Father Marron at St. Joseph’s Church.

      A very small strong Catholic community. My God Parents lived across the street. I conidered my childhood the cream of the crop, Vacations every year for 2 weeks, Disneyland trips once a year, Mt. Able for snow in the winter everyyear. We Camped, waterskied, hiked, participated in church fundraising events to build a new church. We always had BBQ’s, Birthdays Holiday celebrations, I loved the simplicity of our childhood, and wish my kids could have experienced the same things.  Needless to say Life was good growing up in the Martin Household.

      Mom and dad were very dedicated when it came to education, religion, and community involvment. We all graduated from St. Joseph’s High in Santa Maria. My brother progressed to his education at USC, He had scholarships to the school, he was always the 4. 0 student in our house, My sister always got b’s, Me, I always got C’s D’s and F’s. Learning didnt come easy for me, reading was the toughest. I remember when i got my hands slapped by my 1st grade teacher because i didnt understand what i was suppose to do. I had a few tough days and refused to go to school, after what had transpired. My mom drove me a few days to make sure i was going to be ok.

     Which later came to light that the pyschiatrist back then wanted me in public school. Mom said she wanted me medically checked to rule out anything but she said my dad said no. They both thought i would be better off left in Catholic school. Growing up in the 60’s there was no medical insurance. I struggled through 7th grade the worse  and after that 8th grade on up it seemed so much easier. I never gave up trying to achieve the grades my sister and brother received. I hated disappointing myself and my parents for that aspect of my life. I did however focus and reach my goal of obtaining a college prep diploma.

     I was so relieved when i graduated. I was really conflicted on what i wanted to do with my life. I grew with Horses as my passion, only to have it engraved in my brain that I needed a real job to earn money. Jobs were not that plentyful in Santa Maria, or nipomo. I was attending a few courses at the jr college but i wasn’t serious about remaining in school. 13 years of it was enough for while. My best friend across the street, convinced me to take the Air Force Entrance Exam, we talked to the recruiter, and had planned to enlist in the buddy program. The only problem with that is: She deliberately failed the test, an A student, and I passed the test. I got a guaranteed job in Comunnications, computer operations. I guess i tested high in math. Algebra was my favorite math subject, Geometry flew over my head.  I was leaving in April for basic Training. I was so excited to be earning my own income and getting my feet planted on the ground.

     After a serious head on colision the end of that March in 1979, my enlistment was delayed until i got cleared from the doctor and basic was pushed back to June that same year. I loved the Air Force, taught me so much work ethics, discipline, managing my life in general. it was a  life saver. 12 yrs , 10 months later i seperated due to the reduction in military. The kids dad and I had bought our house just over a year before and our daughter was just a year old.

     I wanted to remain home with her, but he wanted me working so working i went back too full time the following year. For San Gorgonio Hospital for over 4 years. i left after having zach the following year to focus more on the business we had started part time Carpet Cleaners. Mom and dad got divorced in 1991 after 37 years, My Marriage went south 7 years later. We sold our home for 33k to avoid forclosure and save our mortgage history. I was raising the kids by myself. The Kids dad had moved to orange county to the woman i used to work with. After the home was sold I moved up here to Lompoc closer to my family for more support. 

     I became pregnant 5 months later with Loren our Youngest. Definately God’s Child under the circumstances. My dad and stepmom helped me the most. Dad spent alot of time with my oldest son Zach, took him camping and Plane trips in his apache , golfing, always had him at the Air Museums at the airport, My dad was very involved with the community after he retired from Lockheed.

     We lost dad in Sept 8,  2006 in a plane crash in the Orcutt foothills, less than a mile from my sister’s home, and 3 miles fm the airport. I was devastated the whole family was. He was always in perfect health for age 74 years. He died doing what he loved.  It was after his death that i really started worrying about Zach. Zach i knew he was very emotional about the rejection from his real dad, to loose the only living grandfather just left me heartbroken for him the worse.

      I was battling the school to provide services for him, he was struggling, the school assessment showed he didnt qualify his iq scores were too high. Needless to say just over 6 years later i was able to obtain a copy of a assesstment from a PHD that had conducted the same assessment 6 months later that showed very low IQ scores and his processing disorder that the school didnt recognize he had till 6th grade. It was just a few week after that the boys had seen their neurologistis to manage their health that Zach was having seizures too. both boys are depakote for their seizure disorders.

     I was under so much stress from my youngest son starting intervention with tri counties and trying to keep up with zach and his behavior along with his enlarged intestine that wasnt diagnosed until age 6 or 7. My daughter entering High School. I was immersed in the what my step mom call the crowded years. i starting feeling numb along the right side of my face, my leg from the knee down and my arm from the elbow down. I went to ER, and got myself checked. They Ran a Ct Scan , that showed i suffered a stroke, but it wasnt a recent one. 

     The Hospital referred me back to my doctor to get a MRI scheduled to obtain more information. It came out that i have Stable left encephalomalacia from the followup MRI 6 months later. They dont know when it happened other than it is more than likely happened in infancy.  The boys Neurologist says that just plane stress could have caused it.  How could something of this nature go undiagnosed for 48 years, Im 51 now. I havent been referred to a neurologist to rule out seizures.

     The stress of raising the kids on my own, my focus is not what it used to be. It was never my intention to raise them alone, but because of the Circumstances it is the only option i have. They are my family I  love them. They deserve so much more than what i can give them that i wake up feeling failure everyday. Some days worse than others. I decided a very long time ago that i would be the better parent, that the kids dad has alot of issues that he still wont face today.

     The kids know, and love him for just who he is. It was so heartbreaking to watch your kids suffer emotionally  from the rejection of being loved by their dad. They are very lucky to see him more than once a year. I turned to online chatting in 2004. I had to do something. My help with my kids is very limited when it comes to family help, my sister works fulltime teaching for the school district and my mom is diabetic, with congestive heart failure.

      My brother lives 3 hours east works for NASA, a Aerospace engineer, Bachelors at USC in Mechanical Engineering, Masters at UC Fresno in Aerospace Engineering and a JD Degree from Stanford University. He spends most of his time with his family and grandkids.

     I’m home everynight with my kids, Im a licensed Primerica representative, I volunteer for Return to Freedom American Wild Horse Sanctuary when i can.  I’m the US representative for Saviing Lives in America. I Advocate for Autism, Change to help make our world a better place to live in. I have met alot of people online over the years, some remain friends some dont. My kids are my life I have my priorities straight when it comes to their welfare. Sure I still believe in Marriage and everything it has to offer a real relationship. I just wont involve myself into a relationship unless i know the person 1st. if that person can respect my family’s needs nourish my kids to be better kids for their personal growth then they have a chance at winning my heart.

     My Step Mom stopped associating with us on a regular basis after Dad’s Death, with my limited income, I dont travel, it is too costly. We remain here and do alot of things in the local area. My kids have hearts of gold. I have watched my 8th grade son 4 years ago choose to finally participate in class and turn two F’s grades into A’s in one reporting period. It was 6 months after the death of my dad. It showed me he was going to be ok, I just knew it from that day on.  I hever stopped fighting for what was right for my sons.

     So now you have a clearer picture of why i do what i do. It is for Hope, Faith, Love, and Trust. I teach my kids that patience is a virtue. I want to help enrich other people’s lives with my knowledge that has been all self-taught most of it. Even though I have faced and learned alot from my experiences. It has made me a Stronger, better, Mother for my kids. I sat on Surf Beach one afternoon just thinking about the whole situation of what we have been through and decided that Yes we are Vicitims of Circumstance. No We dont have to remain a Vicitim of Circumstance. Personal Growth from learning, healing from within empowers you to embrass and love yourself and move on from the past. For it is Complete History. It was never about the harboring anger or pointing blame. Blame gets you nowhere. I just want my sons well.

     I had started back at the jr college to work on getting a degree in It management but i lost so much focus when loren turned 1, my mom had double bipass surgery, and she had gall bladder surgery the next year after that, and then her throat cancer.  My sister and i share taking care of her.

     My daughter currently lives with her to help her out. She has been cancer free for over 5 years, Im pretty certain she never stopped loving my dad. She still complains about stuff he used to do and he has been gone for 5 years this September. My oldest son wants me to work, and i considered that too, but with my own health im not sure how the additional stress of a job would affect it. Im scared to find out.

This past week has been an amazing week of media events surrounding the implications of Autism and Vaccine Injuries. I don’t Consider myself pro or con on the idea that Vaccines cause Autism. The reason why is basically due to my own gut instincts are very sensitive when it comes to my kids and my own health so the issue doesn’t pertain to me as it does to them, but I fully support the parents who do. We are lost in the Autism Epidemic and it has financially drained the education system to take care of these kids, which has led up to Congress hearing the issues on Autism.

However I am concerned for the parents of these injuries if they are not satisfied with the outcome with Congress on this issue. Where will that leave them and their Children? The resources are out there how to manage this epidemic, Parents just need the government’s assitance to help end this epidemic, and reverse the risks of our future generations in the World.          

     When my daughter was born 20 years ago on Mother’s Day in 1991, I was still active duty Air Force. My pregnancy with her was good i was bowling 200 games in my last trimester for being my 1st Child.  After a gruelling 29 hours of labor, She arrived, Happy healthy and Normal and a beautiful baby girl.

      After Returning to my job 6 weeks later I had found a home daycare that was close to my home. She was happy there, A first time mother I think is the scariest when you go back to work. About 8 weeks passed and when i went to pick Cassie up one day, the DayCare provider had taken in 2 news kids into her program that had ChickenPox. She said that these kids were well past the 10 day mark for being contagious.

      She was Wrong. Cassie contracted the Chickenpox at 4 months old. It was heartbreaking i had to use 10 days of my vacation to stay home with her until hers were gone. It is what happened with her health almost immediately after that i really started to see how contracting the Chickenpox had done to her. She started getting ear infections out the yin yang. I spent several nights up with her with fevers that had spiked up to 104, and 105 at one point. I always had cool bath running and fever reducer given to her right before i bathed her to cool her down before leaving for the ER if i had too. I had switched her healthcare over to Loma Linda University from the base doctors shortly after she was referred there for her ears.

      I just remember the countless doses of Antibiotics that she had to take to clear the infections, her body had built up a resistance over time to the lower end antibiotics, and the Dr’s informed me that she wont be able to have tubes placed in her ears till she is 1-year-old. We survived the infections and when the tube placement in the ears it cut down significantly on her infections. 

     I monitored her when she got her vaccines and i think maybe once she had a slight fever with a vaccine but nothing bad. As Cassie aged she started getting numerous strep throat infections, Scarlet Fever and i started to wonder where is all these illnesses coming from? The only thing that kept popping into my mind was the Chickenpox had compromised her health.   

      I was very blessed to have neighbors who worked at nurses at the hospital. Their knowledge was very helpful when it came to caring for my daughter. When Cassie turned 5, they had told me that removing her tonsils would solve the infections with the strep strain illnesses and they removed her 1st set of tubes that never fell out and replaced them with a 2nd set and removed her tonsils. They were right, She didn’t get strep again after that surgery. Although her adenoids were extremely huge some of them had grown back but she is healthy.

     The only thing that remained of her health that concerned me was car sickness and she out grew that with flying colors. Pregnancy 5 years later, was totally different i was working 12 hour days at the hospital in Banning, Ca. i was possibly exposed to hepatitis C from a employee’s nephew who had been in the office, and when i got to towards the end of my 2nd trimester, there was one night i had a dream of myself dying and my baby was at risk.

      It was so surreal to me that i really started paying attention to what was going on with my body from that point on. I felt it was a clear message from God. Work was understaffed in our department and i was the only person working in Data Processing for my last trimester. I was on call sometimes. Since Zach was due on the 31st of March, i stopped working on the 15th.

     It was my regular weekly checkup that changed everything. I had developed Pre-Eclampsia and the Dr. said i must get to the Hospital so that they could induce my labor. I had what i consider a good labor significantly shorter than having Cassie only 8 hours. I was on a sodium drip to keep me from having seizures or convulsion or slipping into coma for 2 days following delivery.

      Zach was born a normal birth just 10 days early is all in Spring of 1996, A very happy alert baby from the very beginning. What I noticed about his health from infancy was that he was very gaseous, I had to give him mylecon drops as needed when i would see him stressing and fussy. As he aged and monitored him during his Vaccinations there were no problems at all. Normal baby that i could tell.

       When Zach turned 6 months, i was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Disease aka Goiter, under active thyroid. It took me a year to get my body back to feeling somewhat normal,  It Wasn’t until Zach started walking and getting arround on his own that he was so hyperactive he was always on the go, always getting into the household cleaners and had learned to unlatch the safety locks on the cabinets by the time he was 2.

     I spent numerous visits to ER at Loma Linda for the next few years. By the time Zach turned 2 i was raising the kids on my own, self-employed with the kids dad, It wasnt until Zach was getting ready to start preschool that the Dr at Loma Linda suggested he be assessed for his language.

     They weren’t  overly concerned  with his overactivity or that it was very difficult to potty train a child, he took a while but i did get him potty trained. What happened after his dad taught him to stand and use the toilet to pee messed up his toilet training. People were judging me for the toilet training issues that weren’t medically addressed until 3 years later at the age of 8.

    Seven years later in 2002 arrives Loren.  I was very aware of the risks after having Zach.  I was working part-time as the beach patrol so i was hiking everyday and i had Cassie and Zach at the beach with me over the weekends. It was a very peaceful place to be with the whale migrations, dolphins, seals and of course protection of the western snowy plovers.

      Life was moving forward i was in good health and had a great pregnancy considering the odds. The Dr induced me on my due date, and Loren was with us 3 hours later with a normal delivery. He was the same as Zach a beautiful baby. It wasnt until maybe a few weeks later that he was tracking my every move with his eyes.

     As Loren aged i did notice a lapse in language, he had all of his vaccinations just like his siblings with no fever.  I knew from the time he was born there was something different about Loren . I could sense his smartness and at 2 months old i could have sworn i heard him repeat a word back to me. Loren’s first year noises bothered him. He would have huge meltdowns and take his socks and clothes off all the time. I had to wait till he was asleep before I vacuumed and made sure his door to his room was closed during his nap time.

     He didn’t vocalize a lot, it was his actions i was always watching, so I used visual cues a lot to teach him to interact with me. He had an excellent daycare provider when he was 1 and older, she used an excellent program  teaching the babies sign language to communicate what they wanted. Loren was very adaptive to her program.

     It was when he turned 3.5 when  i really noticed how noises affected him. I would start  up the weedwacker or the lawn mower he would run inside the house. The Vacuum cleaner the same effect. So when i enrolled him in pre-school it was discovered during reading he couldn’t sit still and the referral for the speech had begun and the way he therapists explained it to me what Loren was hearing was just like listening to the Teacher in the Peanuts Cartoons on TV.

     Loren went through 4 head start programs until they switched him over to a new program helping children with learning disabilities when his assessments and referrals with his intervention at home started. It didn’t take too terribly long to get Loren over the sensory overloads.

     Zach had been diagnosed earlier at age 6 or 7 with Severe ADHD, and placed on ridylin, and then started on Concerta and was on the medication for 2 years, before i removed him from the drug. Sleepless nights, couldn’t stay awake in class numerous days. I ended up in front of the School Board with Loren in tow explaining what is happening in my home for Zachary not sleeping, doing his homework. There was massive chaos and i had it all on my plate and handled it the best i could for being a single parent.

By the time we were done, Loren had been having a major meltdown and had removed his clothing and socks. The DA was present at this meeting which really made me aware of how this system works. She was the same DA that represented me in my child support case.

It wasnt until Loren started Kindergarten that he got his diagnosis and it was a few months later when Zach my oldest had his diagnosis and both boys started receiving services at school.

      When i pursued with the boys dr to get a referral to he neurologist in Santa Barbara for management of their diagnosis. It was then when the boys both had EEG that i learned from the dr that both boys were having seizures and needed to be on medication. It was then when she told me that ADHD Medications intensify Seizures that i got concerned about Zach and his ability to overcome this at age 12 didn’t know the odds it left a blank inside my head and the last thing i wanted to hear.

      It took a lot of time and patience on me and my family to get Loren where he is today. A bright communicative 8-year-old that has turned his situation arround to be the best he can be. Zach on the other hand being 15 and 3 years from the diagnosis of his absent epilepsy his focus in school has been extremely well this year.

     Once i got the school on board that Zachary due to his processing disorder is not  communicative to expressing his needs, he depends on me as his mother to start the process to obtain the services that work best for him. Zachary’s presence at his last IEP made a huge impact on him learning what he needed to do for himself at school. He has stepped up to plate and brought his grades up and does all of his work at school and raised his gpa from 1.4 to a 2.4 or higher. What a way to finish off the 8th grade.

      He doesn’t feel he is having seizures anymore so after seeing the dr this week, Zach is having a EEG done to check for seizures, and if it goes well we are weaning him off the drugs to see how he does. She said he may have outgrown the epilepsy. I have huge Hope for Zach. We will be monitoring him. He feels he doesn’t have Autism, He doesn’t want to be considered a Victim of Circumstance, He just wants to be well and enjoy life and see his dad who he is getting to spend more time with him this year, after a absence  with him since the age of 2. He is coming into his own independence and establishing who he is.  Life is what you make it.

     The Autism/Vaccine Injury issues is finally getting attention of Congress to look into this matter further. It is a very controversial issue when you have the pharmaceutical companies, releasing information that the Vaccines are safe when they have paid compensation for what they have said is rare cases of Vaccine Injury. 

      The pharmaceutical industry is biased for their own benefit. Which is What a lot of media has voiced about the Anti Vaccine parents because they have professionals who hold doctorates in their field and have children on the spectrum they are doing what they firmly believe is right. So how can they be so wrong when the pharmaceutical industry has manipulated congress and allowed them to manufacture and prescribe chemically mixed drugs that are not healthy for our genetics given the environments we live in.

      We can turn our health care problems arround as long as the FDA recognizes nutritional supplements so that physicians can prescribe them.    We owe it to ourselves to respect what the Grace of God has given us. Even though we are all Victims of Circumstance from the mistakes of the medical and pharmaceutical industries. We are strong and the law of large numbers will prevail. It is only apparent with all the toxins in our enviroment that our genetics cant hand any further manipulation. It is Mother Nature staring us back in the face of what is happening to our Nation’s Children.

     We brought these children into the world and take responsibility for raising them, but there is a fine line when the pharmaceutical industry, CDC, and other supporting governmental agencies is not concerned about the general health of the Children in schools to handle this healthcare epidemic before it gets way too out of  control. Vaccine Safety is vital for our existence to lead a healthy life.

Hello world!

Welcome to This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

%d bloggers like this: